Show of hands, how many of you also feel like Vinnie my man is gauging the size and weight of a pair of boobs? Anyone? No? Nobody? Really? OK
Most people who know me well know that virtually everything holds a double meaning for me. How I carry on normal conversations each day without laughing out loud or going “Oouuh” in a meaningful way is really beyond me.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, love, romance and (let’s face it), gbainshing, I decided to share my point of view with y’all. ‘Cos I’m just that nice. Or is it naughty? Only Santa can tell, and the guy isn’t even real. Conundrum.
It’s so bad that a friend and I have a steadily growing list of words which we absolutely cannot say to each other; they are just that dirty in a coded way. Here’s a rundown of some of them.
Hmm. My uncle once repeatedly used this word and I felt my heart beat faster as I grew hideously uncomfortable. I couldn’t escape though; we were in a moving car that was straddling a small gully in the road *covers face*
Come (To be used carefully and with the right tone of voice)
Open (As above)
Penetrate (As above)
Rod *covering face and blushing*
Err… the list is endless o, and I sense a lot of people backing away slowly and giving me the fish eye. Let the matter rest here. Maybe it will rise (another one!) again some other day.
Feel free to share yours sha. Cheers.
Forgive me for the abandonment. Erm… Yes. Thanks. 🙂
His Majesty has imported another woman. Yes. While I want to welcome her and stretch out a hand of friendship”, as they say, I also want to remind him of Lola Shoneyin’s The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. He thought he was extra masculine by surrounding himself with his wives and their numerous kids. Turns out, none of said children were his.