This cracked me up just a little bit when I thought of it. Yeah, that dude you saw laughing on the street at absolutely nothing at all? That was probably me. I have focused plenty on the sisters in my last couple of posts, I will return to them after this. Today I am bringing it home, to my brothers, the special ones out there, the ones who I have got so much love for.
Now I see them, the special ones, they look like models straight out of GQ, well dressed, tight haircuts, handsome faces (no I am not an extremely happy man) and bodies that make me look in the mirror and go green. They are all over the place, the ladies love them and I can’t fault that. If I was a woman, I would love them too.
Location: all over the UK
Time: Sometime within the last 4 years
I have been noticing, staring and observing these A.B.W’s and rather than beef from a distance I decided to walk up to one of them and ask, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT? I look like an athlete, like a female friend of mine said around that period, I look fit and all. Now I don’t know who she thought she was lying to, but I totally did not eat the banana..(Regardless of what anyone says, I do believe it is impossible to wash soap). I mean, I look in the mirror every now and then… Wait, back to the post.
So I walked to my special brother, this amazing specimen of dude and I as I hailed him, his
respond (yes if he responded right now, I would be entirely right to leave that gbagaun there, I was that shocked) made me pause, rewind and replay his response over and over again… Now if I could break it down to you dear reader, I would say the following…
- If you speak with an accent and the accent is h-factor inclusive then it is suspect.
- If you speak with an accent and add nna men when you speak then it is suspect.
- If you speak with an accent and you did not have a basic primary or secondary education in that country, then your accent is suspect.
- All the above strictly apply to the English Language only.
- I understand that English people shell, but they shell like English people.. If you speak with an accent but shell like a Nigerian, I have no words for you
Now that is out of the way, not counting the number of gbagauns I heard, plus the fact that the conversation made no sense to me after 5 to 10minutes, I left my A.B.W. sorely disappointed. There I was looking to my special ones, my superhero, for the secret to getting the ladies around me, there I was again looking distraught. Now no offence to all my special brothers out there, but I love John Doe, when he isn’t in front of a mirror. I think I will stick with him. If it was between being a portrait and being a gorilla (no gorilla is too good for me). I choose gorilla. Gorilla sef dey marry.
Would you want to be or like to have an A.B.W.?
Single Nigerian Man
Disclaimer: Please this has no reference to anyone around me, that I know of. Na just yarn I dey yarn.
Can someone please tell facebook to give me back my notes?