Tag Archives: thoughts

Scarlett Writes: Window of Opportunity

Hello Everyone, Happy Post Holidays. I had this long post on how awesome my easter weekend was gonna be, because I had plans!!! Unfortunately, I spent all weekend in bed, alone all through the holidays. I am shocked! Oh Well. I figured you all deserve a story

I know today is Wednesday technically Tuesday because Monday was Sunday *errr* You catch my drift :). So my post today will be short and to the point.

*drumroll*

The ‘Window of Opportunity’
Y’all already know what the window of opportunity is but allow me to explain,

The window of opportunity is that period of grace we all(women) allocate that potential Lover, friend with benefit( before the benefits of course),You know that time when you wait patiently for said guy to ask you out on a date, a meeting and in some cases a ‘slam, bam thank you very much’…
So Ladies, How long do you keep your window of Opportunity ‘open’? Two weeks? A month?

FYI….this window could also be called a ‘box of opportunity’ or if I may be so bold; ‘The Goody Bag’

Ok. Imagine this, lemme break it down *in JT’s voice’
You meet a guy, you like him, he seems to like you but he isn’t taking the ‘let’s see a movie this weekend’ or ‘let’s have drinks this weekend’ hints. Its hella frustrating but you have to wait as a woman abi? Pffffft!
Well for me,I see a spark and I want to throw some fuel on that spark and see those flames ignite….FAST!
We aren’t getting any younger you know
So? I hint and in some cases I take the bull by the horn and I say “Hey! Wanna hang this weekend?” Yes!! I am that forward. It works for me. So when I close my ‘window’, it usually means that it has been toooo long and I cannot categorically explain my disappointment in this guy in question.

How long is too long? I ask again…A year? 6months? Ehmmm… Is a year and a half too long?

I am ridiculously patient when it comes to the opposite sex and I am a firm believer of giving that guy the looooongest of ropes to hang himself (I.DO.NOT.LIKE.GAMES). So when I finally kick the chair from under him, he usually knows he has messed up and the space that used to have a window is sealed shut with bricks, cement and iron bars.

Why so mean? Because it is risky to make your intentions known, Some guys BOLT.. that whole macho thing, wanting to be in control of a situation, but some are smart enough to see the rest of this story as it unfolds.

When I make my intentions known (directly, indirectly depends on how I feel about this person) I start the timer and watch you get on that chair and knot your own noose, you’ll be begging me to put you out of your misery. Soon
Too much on the morbid analogy?….*sips chilled coke*
So, this happened to me
I met this interesting individual, by the second phone call we had,I knew he was getting lucky.
Problem, he wasn’t taking the bait
He was always too busy, Forgetful
But still he called occasionally and a lot of BBM convos about things I found interesting, I wanted this human being to ask me out, but he never did!!
I would put myself out there, he would say “OK,we’ll hook up”.
But weekend came, I would call/ping to ask what happened… Excuses! Excuses!!
STILL NOTHING.
A lot of Ok, k, kks, GTGs… endless BRBs
Dangling me on a hook, watching me squirm, I was frustrated, wanted to throw tantrums his ways at some point, but I held my own. After a while, I lost interest… Of course!!!
Then the Universe decided it was time to have some fun (loool).
Finally, I met him again at another gathering, this was 12 calendar months and even some more months later… and all of a sudden, he had ‘Tunnel Vision’ for me, (probably all that drinking). Suddenly he had the whole week open and could meet me up for drinks at anytime or movies. He was all over me,trying to get me alone, to some dark corner, I obliged. *watching him get up on that chair and tie the rope to a branch*

Finally he gets me to a quiet place outside, he sits opposite me, he saying how he is always so busy, but now he is wide-open, apologising blaa blaa blaaa.. Holding my gaze, saying how gorgoeus I looked, hoping for a snog et al *knotting and adjusting the noose around his neck*

Nothing.
He asks one last time; “Would I have been lucky then?” And I replied with my naughtiest smile….”Oooooh, you have no idea what you missed out on”…still smiling,I stroked his thigh, oh so slowly, leaned closer, looked him straight in the eye, inches from his face and I slowly said…. “NEVER.GONNA.HAPPEN.YOU.HAD.YOUR.CHANCE”……

He had a priceless expression on his face, I stood up and as he moved out of my way, I walked away in my best strut! Never looking back, I imagined I was walking away from an explosion! IT FELT AWESOME!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Was that Harsh? I think not…..
Any man that is too busy to see you, forgets his appointments with you isn’t a serious candidate for the goody bag!
Sad Guy up there might be looking for a million of things or just one thing, but his window closed. Life goes on.
I know my men, and I know if a man wants something, it could be the goody bag, the box or even the delight of your company.

HE WILL MAKE TIME, he will chase you to the ends of the earth if needs be, If he doesn’t?
then ‘Sis.. He isn’t that’s into you’! That’s gospel!
You probably didn’t hear it first here, but this is a friendly reminder.

So please, if you have stories and you are in a sharing mood, I would love to hear them
Have a great Hump day!

xoxo
Scarlett

Stress: The week so far…

Before I say anything else, can you please look at the picture and tell me where you lie?

Me: Insomnia, loss of appetite, fatigue, more fussy, alienation, indecisions, impaired judgement, frequent illnesses (not infections) restlessness and plenty other things oyibo people no sabi.

This was supposed to be a unusually worded rant about many things in particular but for a timely word from my daily devotional (a daily devotional I have not touched in a while I must confess). So without further ado here I go..

My health: After a pretty busy weekend, I woke up on Monday spewing forth bloody spitums (as my medical friends would call it). First thought that crossed my mind? Not again, I had the same thing the last Monday but it went. Seemed my endeavours over the weekend just brought it out again. Did I forget to mention that this would be my 8th or 9th trip to see a doctor this year? The thing hs everybody going crazy, but I know what the problem is. I need to spend 3 weeks of intense loving up with Jane Doe, so I tell myself. Truth, I need to get my God life back in play, for reals.

My job I know how I can go on and on about my job, but then this is the only place where I can take 4days off or die and no one would be really bothered unless Goodluck asks for something that is directly connected to me. I mean, any other place and I would have gotten the sack, the dump or the crap beaten right out of me. They had better fix my medical insurance soon though or else I will play dead.

Celibacy Dear bloggergood, I have decided to go celibate. No more flirting, or having evil thoughts about the female species. I solemnly swear to abstain from all manners of innuendos too as much as it pains me… Affected parties take note. Jane Doe is exempted of course (I jest). Reading 1 Corinthians 5 today scared the piss out of my bladder(s).

Oliver Twist Finally watched some Oliver Twist videos. There was one some people were going crazy about so I sought it and I found it. While the babe in the boxers had some astonishing moves, all my eyes went on going to were the mounds of flesh on her thighs *now shudders*. I am not judging though, my mirror tells me I suck, all the time.

Death With all the wahala this week I found myself thinking of death, well not the actual act but the following:

  1.  With all the ruckus that would happen on twitter, facebook and bbm if I passed on, I cannot help but wonder. What is it about death that makes us all go teary eyed? Please no bb updates, writing on my wall or twittering. Thanks.
  2. If I were to die, I would like to go out with a big bang. Sword in one hand, gun in the other, yelling and spitting insults in the face of a million foes. Death by blood from the chest or from lovesickness or some other wussy thing is not how I want to go *shudders*. Not at my age (no offence to all those in the hospital).

So I am here at work this morning, I have finished with all my activities for the week including catch up on past activities. I am now blogging, reading blogs. My dearest twinny has buzzed me already to get my chest checked out. I have to go too, I need it, before I get a deathwish (no pun intended).

This is not how I blog usually, there must be something wrong with me. Have to go back to babe bashing, theory forming and general nonsense.

With regards,

Single Nigerian Man

Disclaimer: All yarns above were totally conceived in my mind and in no way have any relation to anything or anyone you know. I am not suicidal, I am stressed, if you know a love doctor or a snurse(sex nurse), please refer.

May the celibacy begin.

Now what picture to use…

 

 

Before you say I do…

I always had the impression growing up that it would be easy.. All you would have to do is go down on one knee and pop the question, and the answer will be most likely yes. I have been to countless weddings (lie, I hate weddings).. Sorry, I have been to a couple of weddings, watched countless movies, heard plenty gist and testimonies and really and truly, they make things look so easy. I now know better. They lied, each and every one of them, movies don’t capture thought processes. They lied when they said they just knew you would be the one, they probably lied when they say God told them, they lied when they said it was easy. The only truth I have heard was from my pastor and to me now , it was only partial, because he freaked out only after “she” said yes.

This is by far the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, the decision to ask you to marry me. I have visioned it a thousand times, a thousand times a thousand and it was always romantic, in it you always said yes, in it, everything was perfect. In real life however, I am freaked out, so many things are running through my mind.

I remember the first night we spent together, we talked all night different topics, random things. Time stood still when we were together, we created our own world. I remember the day I knew it was you, back at the beginning, I heard it clearly and I felt it too. I remember the countless fights we had, the little one, the big ones and the playful ones. We have come so far been through so much together that we could literally be married. So why am I so scared? Why am I quietly freaking out?

I am scared that I am not good enough, scared of failing you. Scared I am not ready, scared of what the future would hold. I have always believed that before starting out on a journey, a man should be prepared for whatever the future could hold, he should be ready to cater for his family, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I do not think I am ready.

I am scared of what your answer would be, that regardless of all we have been together, I am scared your answer would be no.

Do I love you? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Yes to both, every single time. However, all the love and all my desires are not helping me, not today, not since the last time I saw you. I saw you and everything changed, we have been apart for so long that I feel that the bond we once had has seriously weakened. The man is supposed to be the strong person, supposed to reassure the woman, make her feel secure, knowing that he is always there. Lies! All lies!! I now believe every single one of us freaked out just a little bit before the question. The ones that didn’t, had ulterior motives.

Dear Jane Doe,

If you ever read this (I know I chased you away with one angry post I wrote), know this… You are the only one that knows how I truly feel about you apart from me. And you are the only one that knows how hard I find it to describe my true feelings. I am not perfect, I might not be many people’s version of ideal. There are many things lacking in my life that I am yet to get. Freaking out is an understatement of how I feel but underneath it all, my feelings for you have not changed in the 6 years I have known you. I may have buried it for a while, hidden it for a while but it is all there, from the first day till date.

I am freaking out, I have been freaking out all weekend and all week and I have been trying to hide it and I am failing, its only a matter of time before it starts showing.

Regards

John Doe

Disclaimer: Women in general like to assume we are cold calculating people who have the answers to almost everything. Have it all planned out. Men cry, men die, men freak out just like you, they just hide it better (makes me wonder about the Men from Mars and Women from Venus thing). If you by any chance know Jane Doe, please keep this from her.

MsLuffa is this good enough to classify as part of the Jane Doe chronicles?