Tag Archives: Special people

African Beau Wonder

This cracked me up just a little bit when I thought of it. Yeah, that dude you saw laughing on the street at absolutely nothing at all? That was probably me. I have focused plenty on the sisters in my last couple of posts, I will return to them after this. Today I am bringing it home, to my brothers, the special ones out there, the ones who I have got so much love for.

Now I see them, the special ones, they look like models straight out of GQ, well dressed, tight haircuts, handsome faces (no I am not an extremely happy man) and bodies that make me look in the mirror and go green. They are all over the place, the ladies love them and I can’t fault that. If I was a woman, I would love them too.

Location: all over the UK

Time: Sometime within the last 4 years

I have been noticing, staring and observing these A.B.W’s and rather than beef from a distance I decided to walk up to one of them and ask, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT? I look like an athlete, like a female friend of mine said around that period, I look fit and all. Now┬áI don’t know who she thought she was lying to, but I totally did not eat the banana..(Regardless of what anyone says, I do believe it is impossible to wash soap). I mean, I look in the mirror every now and then… Wait, back to the post.

So I walked to my special brother, this amazing specimen of dude and I as I hailed him, his respond (yes if he responded right now, I would be entirely right to leave that gbagaun there, I was that shocked) made me pause, rewind and replay his response over and over again… Now if I could break it down to you dear reader, I would say the following…

  1. If you speak with an accent and the accent is h-factor inclusive then it is suspect.
  2. If you speak with an accent and add nna men when you speak then it is suspect.
  3. If you speak with an accent and you did not have a basic primary or secondary education in that country, then your accent is suspect.
  4. All the above strictly apply to the English Language only.
  5. I understand that English people shell, but they shell like English people.. If you speak with an accent but shell like a Nigerian, I have no words for you

Now that is out of the way, not counting the number of gbagauns I heard, plus the fact that the conversation made no sense to me after 5 to 10minutes, I left my A.B.W. sorely disappointed. There I was looking to my special ones, my superhero, for the secret to getting the ladies around me, there I was again looking distraught. Now no offence to all my special brothers out there, but I love John Doe, when he isn’t in front of a mirror. I think I will stick with him. If it was between being a portrait and being a gorilla (no gorilla is too good for me). I choose gorilla. Gorilla sef dey marry.

Would you want to be or like to have an A.B.W.?


Single Nigerian Man

Disclaimer: Please this has no reference to anyone around me, that I know of. Na just yarn I dey yarn.

Can someone please tell facebook to give me back my notes?

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