Tag Archives: single nigerian girl

Scarlet Writes: Come and Chill Theorem

So I was reading a book this afternoon titled; ‘The 2nd Book of General Ignorance‘. It’s basically facts, events and stuff you think you know but are actually wrong.
And for some reason this got me thinking about Men and their ways with women folk and this came to mind

……………………………………………………………………………………

The ‘come and chill girl‘ Vs. The ‘let’s go on a date girl
At what point in a man’s mind those he categorize a girl into one of the two categories. Why I ask this? Simple. I am a victim of the lesser attractive category!! Lemme explain
  1. I love to chill, I am probably the chillest girl, you’ll ever meet and I also know a lot of chill women, that are now forced to act a certain way, because words like ‘Ladylike’ and socially (un)acceptable start popping up!! And the most annoying ‘Dress how you want to be addressed’ blah blah blahh.
  2. I LOVE Video games! Playstation, Xbox, etc.
  3. I love to sit back with junk food and watch  movies ALL DAY ,I wouldn’t even mind indulging in some mild psychedlics while watching a movie or even making one… *Wink wink*
    Or if you like,I cld just sit down with a bottle of coke and have a conversation.

I am mellow like that! I can be indoors for a month and not go out…
THIS IS A PROBLEM…..do u know why?

A lot of guys, Pick up on this, the moment they meet me and now almost every guy wants a girl(me) to come and chill! And no it’s NEVER the kind of chill you have in mind. It really grinds my gears,when I meet a guy I actually have a connection  and the next thing he says after some hrs of mind simulating conversation is; ‘Come to my house’
Urrggh! What happened to wooing? You know the good old days..
MEN ARE EITHER GETTING LAZY OR JUST MEAN!
I also like to go out,to the mall, go to the beach, go to a sports bar and watch soccer..its fun!

What happened to taking a girl out, just because u like her, none of that pretentious ish because you want to get into her pants… I am not talking chinese, sharwama, asun, pizza or LOUD irritating music and spending hard earned naira on clubbing.. I am talking blowing a girl’s mind and that’s not just the sexual aspect, I mean taking her to see the Premiere of Man of Steel, because you know she loves movies, buying her the limited edition of something she’ll appreciate, having an author sign her favorite novel.
I know a lot of women, that behave a certain way all because they don’t want to be ‘Come and chill’ zoned.

What is the ‘come and chill’ zone?
NEED YOU ASK?
Men are scared of meeting ‘chop clean mouth girls’ and I get that.. Totally. But before you decide to ‘come and chill’ zone a girl, know her well. The fact she is all calm doesn’t mean you can’t just surprise her or don’t you want to be seen with her in public? She can’t be that ugly naa, something drew you to her at first and we both know it wasn’t just ‘junior’. Lol
The ironic thing is y’all meet the chop and clean mouth girls and make her a ‘go out on a date’ girl.’Wife material’ sef. Then meet the chill mellow girls and just zone them, all because she seemed easy or rather she made things easy for you. It that fair???
Or the worst you don’t even look at the come and chill girl’s way, then later when you are stuck with ur ‘chop and clean mouth girl’, you are wishing she was chill and mellow. And you start complaining!!! MEN…and WOMEN! It’s almost like when women friend zone nice guys and chase after standard bastards.
This life is just a steaming pile of rotten beans!Self-Sabotage is almost second nature at this point.. It’s like we set ourselves up to fail, then start whining! I hate when I meet a guy and he says ‘Ah! You are the girl of my dreams, you love movies, games and even watch soccer, you don’t have a problem with my drinking and smoking.. Then I start feeling all kinds of awesome. Then you see the girl he is attracted to and she is so High maintenance, you wonder if she takes a dump!
So this is probably the shortest thing I have ever ranted about…so Men!
What’s the deal?! Cos I honestly cant be what I am not cause I want you to treat me differently.So what do you think?xx
Scarlet 

Image credit to Date a white guy and MadameNoire

Scarlett Writes: Window of Opportunity

Hello Everyone, Happy Post Holidays. I had this long post on how awesome my easter weekend was gonna be, because I had plans!!! Unfortunately, I spent all weekend in bed, alone all through the holidays. I am shocked! Oh Well. I figured you all deserve a story

I know today is Wednesday technically Tuesday because Monday was Sunday *errr* You catch my drift :). So my post today will be short and to the point.

*drumroll*

The ‘Window of Opportunity’
Y’all already know what the window of opportunity is but allow me to explain,

The window of opportunity is that period of grace we all(women) allocate that potential Lover, friend with benefit( before the benefits of course),You know that time when you wait patiently for said guy to ask you out on a date, a meeting and in some cases a ‘slam, bam thank you very much’…
So Ladies, How long do you keep your window of Opportunity ‘open’? Two weeks? A month?

FYI….this window could also be called a ‘box of opportunity’ or if I may be so bold; ‘The Goody Bag’

Ok. Imagine this, lemme break it down *in JT’s voice’
You meet a guy, you like him, he seems to like you but he isn’t taking the ‘let’s see a movie this weekend’ or ‘let’s have drinks this weekend’ hints. Its hella frustrating but you have to wait as a woman abi? Pffffft!
Well for me,I see a spark and I want to throw some fuel on that spark and see those flames ignite….FAST!
We aren’t getting any younger you know
So? I hint and in some cases I take the bull by the horn and I say “Hey! Wanna hang this weekend?” Yes!! I am that forward. It works for me. So when I close my ‘window’, it usually means that it has been toooo long and I cannot categorically explain my disappointment in this guy in question.

How long is too long? I ask again…A year? 6months? Ehmmm… Is a year and a half too long?

I am ridiculously patient when it comes to the opposite sex and I am a firm believer of giving that guy the looooongest of ropes to hang himself (I.DO.NOT.LIKE.GAMES). So when I finally kick the chair from under him, he usually knows he has messed up and the space that used to have a window is sealed shut with bricks, cement and iron bars.

Why so mean? Because it is risky to make your intentions known, Some guys BOLT.. that whole macho thing, wanting to be in control of a situation, but some are smart enough to see the rest of this story as it unfolds.

When I make my intentions known (directly, indirectly depends on how I feel about this person) I start the timer and watch you get on that chair and knot your own noose, you’ll be begging me to put you out of your misery. Soon
Too much on the morbid analogy?….*sips chilled coke*
So, this happened to me
I met this interesting individual, by the second phone call we had,I knew he was getting lucky.
Problem, he wasn’t taking the bait
He was always too busy, Forgetful
But still he called occasionally and a lot of BBM convos about things I found interesting, I wanted this human being to ask me out, but he never did!!
I would put myself out there, he would say “OK,we’ll hook up”.
But weekend came, I would call/ping to ask what happened… Excuses! Excuses!!
STILL NOTHING.
A lot of Ok, k, kks, GTGs… endless BRBs
Dangling me on a hook, watching me squirm, I was frustrated, wanted to throw tantrums his ways at some point, but I held my own. After a while, I lost interest… Of course!!!
Then the Universe decided it was time to have some fun (loool).
Finally, I met him again at another gathering, this was 12 calendar months and even some more months later… and all of a sudden, he had ‘Tunnel Vision’ for me, (probably all that drinking). Suddenly he had the whole week open and could meet me up for drinks at anytime or movies. He was all over me,trying to get me alone, to some dark corner, I obliged. *watching him get up on that chair and tie the rope to a branch*

Finally he gets me to a quiet place outside, he sits opposite me, he saying how he is always so busy, but now he is wide-open, apologising blaa blaa blaaa.. Holding my gaze, saying how gorgoeus I looked, hoping for a snog et al *knotting and adjusting the noose around his neck*

Nothing.
He asks one last time; “Would I have been lucky then?” And I replied with my naughtiest smile….”Oooooh, you have no idea what you missed out on”…still smiling,I stroked his thigh, oh so slowly, leaned closer, looked him straight in the eye, inches from his face and I slowly said…. “NEVER.GONNA.HAPPEN.YOU.HAD.YOUR.CHANCE”……

He had a priceless expression on his face, I stood up and as he moved out of my way, I walked away in my best strut! Never looking back, I imagined I was walking away from an explosion! IT FELT AWESOME!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Was that Harsh? I think not…..
Any man that is too busy to see you, forgets his appointments with you isn’t a serious candidate for the goody bag!
Sad Guy up there might be looking for a million of things or just one thing, but his window closed. Life goes on.
I know my men, and I know if a man wants something, it could be the goody bag, the box or even the delight of your company.

HE WILL MAKE TIME, he will chase you to the ends of the earth if needs be, If he doesn’t?
then ‘Sis.. He isn’t that’s into you’! That’s gospel!
You probably didn’t hear it first here, but this is a friendly reminder.

So please, if you have stories and you are in a sharing mood, I would love to hear them
Have a great Hump day!

xoxo
Scarlett

Scarlet Writes: Getting that number

Dear Diary,

*slaps self* What am I? 12?!
Apologies.

So,lately I have been trying a couple of ‘social experiments’ ; nothing too naughty or out of the ordinary. Just trying to understand social interactions more thanks to boredom and curiosity,more importantly because I owe it to myself and thousands of women and Men out there.
Una no send me I know sha. And yeah, you’ll probably hate me for this..

So there I was sitting at the waiting area of  the cinema. My friend was running late, I was getting bored, the smell of popcorn and movie previews playing on various screens on an endless loop was too much of a distraction to read a book or even fake it; reading a book (before your minds go far), I mean. So I just watched people around; couples holding hands, friends in groups talking a little too audibly, trying to decide what to see and then one or two loners.
It was a Friday night, most movie goers were either waiting for the traffic to ease off before finding their way home or to some party. TGIF!!!! But then I digress
I was still scanning the area, sipping my now warm bottle of coke when I saw him; average height, a tad timid in his gait, but he was easy on the eyes. He had a backpack in hand as he requested his movie, he looked like a lost puppy, he turned looked around spotted the empty chair beside me and made a beeline for it.
He didn’t ask, he just looked at me and I gestured the seat was empty.
He sat there for about 5 mins staring at his ticket.
Had he never been to the movies?
I felt like I had to talk to him. I should talk to him, shouldn’t I? I was thinking
‘What are you seeing? I ask finally
He looks at me, surprised at first that I was talking to him
Sorry, me?
Yes, I asked what you were seeing, I reply laughing.
Oh sorry …’Lincoln’
‘Nice, Spielberg. Alone? I ask again
Yes. He looked a little uneasy.
But I continue talking making sure I hold his gaze.
‘Lincoln is a serious movie, I wouldn’t want to go there with people asking questions. I remember seeing total recall with a bunch of girls I was saying and smiling.
Exactly! He smiles back
For the next 30 mins, we gist about a lot of random stuff. For one why he is seeing the movie alone.
A lot of laughing,smiling. If you didn’t know us you would thing we were old friends.
My phone finally buzzes, my ride is here I announce cheerily.
He is getting up too, because his movie is about to start,I pick up my stuff, linger for a bit and ask for his number.
He recites his digits, I don’t bother flashing, I say I’ll call him.
And I approach the stairs
[highlight]’SAVE/DELETE'[/highlight]
I hit DELETE. Smile one last time at him and I leave.

 

[divider]

Women, this scenario ring any bells?
You meet a guy, you hit it way off and you think
‘He is soooo gonna call and he never does.

And you are left wondering what went wrong.
Did he get hit by a Bus?
Is he in a ditch somewhere?
Was he an Alien or was he abducted by Aliens?
The Questions are countless
The truth is maybe he was just bored, saw bored looking girl alone at the movies, and decided to talk to her.
That’s why I did it. But we’ll never know, will we?
Not everything is a mind game,Most times the most obvious answer to a solution is usually the answer.
Its not like I am taking sides or pulling some philosophically crap from thin air or maybe I am. Lol
But the truth is Human Behavior is something we will never get to understand.
The answer to the question ‘Why didn’t he call’
Simple – he was just being courteous and polite when he asked for your Digits.
What are your views?
And one more Jamb Question. Is this Real or a figment of my imagination?

Single Nigerian Meets MissMeddle – Literally…

Single Nigerian Man exposed at last
My darlings who no longer love me – if ever at all you did… I have gist. Fresh, hot, beautiful gist.

After our initial meeting, I was finally granted permission to meet His Majesty!! Let me give you the breakdown of how it all went down.

So then, there we were staring at each other, trying to match real life to all the chats and texts and calls and pictures. Then came the awkward moment. My mental calculator was rapidly measuring whether or not to hug him, if I should give him a side hug filled with shoulder blade, or bless him with a full frontal. Our guy, meanwhile, was peaceably leaning in for a bear hug.

So we ended up having a weird semi-full frontal (does this make any sense?!!). So, that little bridge safely crossed, we proceeded to sit down and argue over possession of the tv remote. That over and done with (I won, yay me!), we stared alternately at the tv and at each other.

OK, I must confess that this was when I began prattling on a bit. Yes, I yammered on about the inconsequential for a few minutes. Sigh. I was nervous. Personally, I’m much more comfortable with our virtual friendship and vague promises of meeting at undefned points in the future. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to be in the same room with him…

So we crawled along conversationally, with a few scattered laughs for extra flavour. At some point, your man made a comment about how I didn’t even seem happy to see him. Quite calmly, I explained to the individual that I could only be happy to see him if we’d had a prior meeting. As it was, he was lucky I opened the door, gave him the bony hug and let his feet cross the entryway.

All in all, though, it wasn’t a bad meet. I have finally met the invisible man. Congrats to me.

P.S.

Dear Majesty, to protect your reps, I will not tell them about that weird comment you made. You know the one.

P.P.S.

He also asked if I had any blogging gist for him. Little did he know that I would come up with this. Aren’t I evil?

Love,

Joy.

🙂