Tag Archives: Sandwich Effect

First Date with Prince Charming?

Yeah the title sucks, I know, but I could not think of another name for this

So here I am again sitting at yet another table, with yet another date and rather than talk to her and see how it plays out, my mind has wandered yet again. Thinking theories, playing out acts and trying my best to be polite while thinking a way out of yet another mess I could put myself into.

Here’s my thought train…

I know, yes I know that every woman wants her Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet and do his charming things and win her heart, but really, right from time immemorial, Prince Charming has been looking for his Crown Jewel as well to compliment his charming nature and well make him look more charming than usual.
That may sound sexist but yes, he needs you to compliment his nature, you need him to be your rock. Finish!! Daas all. Now I have talked about my sandwich theory, my hem line theory and type-o-graphic errors. Although I may have applied it to women (because I am a man), I do understand it works both ways.

Funny how no matter how much one wants to get a Prince Charming, no one is really ready to kiss a frog to get one.

However I do not understand how a girl can expect to get her Prince Charming when she isn’t no Crown Jewel. If I were to apply my sandwich theory I would say, if it looks like meat, tastes like bread and moos like a piece of meat, the damn thing is bread. It can moo all it likes, wear two horns and have nine udders (technology has done wonders), but it can’t be meat. In other words sweet empty words, no matter how sweet and no matter how many actions back it up are still empty. The first three letters of the word action are A, C and T. Now girls think being a Crown Jewel has everything to do with being shiny, glossy and all made up. The bible, my bible says that a good wife is made up of good character and any woman with only honeyed up lips, and oiled up speech should be labeled #suspect (I didn’t say so, Solomon did) and I should beware. Yes I am very a-ware so I will be b-ware. How did I get here?

Yes. This lady sitting in front of me is expecting me to be a good guy, she be expecting me to say all the right words, do all the right things and make all the right moves. I on the other hand am sitting here with my mind very far from here, my head making the usual buzz I get from type-o-graphic errors, but saying all the right things, doing all the right things… However I do draw the line at making all the right moves. I am a good actor yes, but no I am not that good. Did I say doing all the right things? Ahhh, I lied.

Why would I do that?

Thanks to Beyonce and all the other single ladies, women now think it’s their absolute right to decide whether or not a guy fits the bill and dump him as they see fit (forgetting most times that it does work both ways). Please men, let them. It is less stress for you, less pain for them (unless you actually want something more, in which case you are screwed). When it comes to that, I chuck ego in their face and let them have it all. I will fight for one woman and one woman alone (my wife). That fight however, is not today.
Hopefully it will come soon.

“Saying you are a good guy/girl many times to a mirror doesn’t make you a good guy/girl. It makes you someone who talks too much. .”

Beauty is everything; a beautiful mind, beautiful heart and a beautiful character. I will rather have all three than have a beautiful wicked woman, with absolutely no manners.


Single Nigerian Man

And finally, for all them that love Proverbs 31, kindly read Proverbs 30 first.

DISCLAIMER: Please I don’t hate women, I actually love them. A lot.

Image credit

The Sandwich Effect

Before I go any further and bore/confuse you let me explain something for this blog, if you look to the left, you will something akin to Types of Tales. That simply put, categorizes from now on, any stories my brain and fingers conspire to bring forth. How does it work? Quite easy

  1. Random: These are quite random thoughts my brain brings out that I do remember to write
  2. Tales: These are stories that may or may not be true, depending on how you the reader decide to finish it up (in your head of course)
  3. Tall tales: Most definitely bollocks, just things I think of as a single man to make me happy, e.g. Halle Berry is the woman next door
  4. Yarns: Space for sale, for anybody and everybody

Now that that has been put outside, I can comfortably sit down and let loose.

Ok, where was I? Yes, the sandwich effect. Now the question is what on earth am I talking about and how on earth did I come about such a theory? I have no idea, its just the way my mind works. As a man, I do some pretty stupid things at some really quiet moments (I absolutely mess up even when there is no opportunity to do so) and I know quite a number of ladies would wonder, what on earth is he thinking? Now before I start explaining or confusing as the case may be, take a look at the picture below…

Yummy Sandwich

As a guy, I have a picture of a woman in my head (lets say Halle), I know what she looks like, I have an idea of what she talks like, I have an idea about her attitude and the various things that make up his woman as a whole. That is my Sandwich (no offense ladies, just flow with me). Now we all know that the ingredients largely make up sandwich, but the Chef, oh, the Chef brings it all together. However, we also know that guys in general make the best cooks, but guys also generally don’t know how to cook (oh yes, I put two contradicting statements in one sentence, forgive me).  Now the funny thing is this, the average guy is not capable of having his mental sandwich (funny but true), so rather than go to market to search for the ingredients to make his sandwich (which he can’t because he is a bad Chef) or going to a shop to buy his desired sandwich (which he can’t because he can’t afford it). He picks you, yes you. You are either the lettuce, the tomato, the egg, the sliced bread, or the MEAT. Oh yeah, the lettuce makes him feel good about himself, the tomato looks so fresh, the egg is a lot of fun, the sliced bread helps him out with business and things and the MEAT (its in capitals so its the big one), the meat is so hot, it’s unbelievable. Sometimes you might be sour, a bit loud, grumpy, run his stomach or quite frankly, make him sick. He doesn’t mind too much and if he begins to mind, he moves on to some other fresher piece and as long as he is with you, he manages to make you a part of that sandwich or the sandwich itself…

That dear readers, is the Sandwich Effect/Theory or whatever name I might think of in the future. I hope no one is offended by this, I hope no breakups will be caused by this, this is entirely a random tale.


Single Nigerian Man

Disclaimer: Please, this is a random Tale. Thank you