Tag Archives: Relationship Issues

SNM Chronicles – The Problem With Strings

When I was young-er, I thought a lot of things of the world. I thought Nigeria was awesome, I thought I could prosper as an ashawo, I thought I would have gone around the world by now, I thought imagination was all I needed, I thought a no strings attached relationship was a myth.

I am now young and I realise that all these things should remain as they are. As thoughts, except for the last one. A no strings attached relationship has remained a myth.  Continue reading SNM Chronicles – The Problem With Strings

Scarlet Diaries: The things I’ll never say

As I write this all I can think about is how much I hate this…
I hate this feeling
I know you get irritated when I get mushy but this is not a guilt trip.
This is the only way I can begin to explain my current state
I fucking miss you, it hurts.
Thinking about you makes me sad now,
My eyes glisten with unshed tears, there is a painful lump in my throat. Continue reading Scarlet Diaries: The things I’ll never say

Going Houdini – Annoying Men

So here’s the thing: I haven’t seriously dated anyone in two years. I’m not counting the year I spent with Lover A as a relationship. No, it wasn’t a relationship; it was a waste of time. Moving on…

People usually tell me that I’m pretty and smart and other delightful things. I look in the mirror every morning and I agree. I’m not at all bad to look at. But some way, somehow, I always attract the wrong kind of guys. Guys that want company when they don’t have a better option, guys that ask you to help them with picking out stuff for their new apartments, guys that take you out and are all chummy with you but never ask you out, guys that just want to have sex, guys that don’t know what they want but want you to be with them in their cluelessness, etc. You may say, “Maybe it’s the way you carry yourself.” Or “Maybe you’re so good a friend they don’t want to ruin it with a relationship” or even, “At least your market is selling”. Before you tell me that in the comments, just know now that I think it is bull. I’ve thought about it and think that good men are just truly hard to find. Just like how original Ray Ban wayfarers are hard to find.

Anyway, today’s post is mostly about Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful hit me like a train! Charm, looks, sense of humor, everything! Just when I was confident that I had finally begun to attract the Mr Rights of this world, Wonderboy pulled a Houdini on me. I was stunned and was in my disillusioned state for a couple of days. In those couple of days, I read almost every blog post on dating sites about Houdini men, I cried every night, I imagined and sometimes dreamed my phone was ringing when it wasn’t. I replayed every single conversation we had in my head, asking myself where I acted or said something to turn him off. In fact that same week, I had already started receiving therapy from a friend of mine when Mr. Wonderful reappeared blaming his disappearance on work. He apologized profusely wondering why I was so mad;

imagine! As if I was the crazy one!

Please, people of God, am I crazy for being worried about Wonderboy when he disappeared? Should I have done nothing instead of calling him twice (without him picking or returning) OR should I have blown his phone up and out of this galaxy?!

And more importantly, how do you propose I make Mr Wonderful atone for his sin?!

Scarlet Writes: Come and Chill Theorem

So I was reading a book this afternoon titled; ‘The 2nd Book of General Ignorance‘. It’s basically facts, events and stuff you think you know but are actually wrong.
And for some reason this got me thinking about Men and their ways with women folk and this came to mind

……………………………………………………………………………………

The ‘come and chill girl‘ Vs. The ‘let’s go on a date girl
At what point in a man’s mind those he categorize a girl into one of the two categories. Why I ask this? Simple. I am a victim of the lesser attractive category!! Lemme explain
  1. I love to chill, I am probably the chillest girl, you’ll ever meet and I also know a lot of chill women, that are now forced to act a certain way, because words like ‘Ladylike’ and socially (un)acceptable start popping up!! And the most annoying ‘Dress how you want to be addressed’ blah blah blahh.
  2. I LOVE Video games! Playstation, Xbox, etc.
  3. I love to sit back with junk food and watch  movies ALL DAY ,I wouldn’t even mind indulging in some mild psychedlics while watching a movie or even making one… *Wink wink*
    Or if you like,I cld just sit down with a bottle of coke and have a conversation.

I am mellow like that! I can be indoors for a month and not go out…
THIS IS A PROBLEM…..do u know why?

A lot of guys, Pick up on this, the moment they meet me and now almost every guy wants a girl(me) to come and chill! And no it’s NEVER the kind of chill you have in mind. It really grinds my gears,when I meet a guy I actually have a connection  and the next thing he says after some hrs of mind simulating conversation is; ‘Come to my house’
Urrggh! What happened to wooing? You know the good old days..
MEN ARE EITHER GETTING LAZY OR JUST MEAN!
I also like to go out,to the mall, go to the beach, go to a sports bar and watch soccer..its fun!

What happened to taking a girl out, just because u like her, none of that pretentious ish because you want to get into her pants… I am not talking chinese, sharwama, asun, pizza or LOUD irritating music and spending hard earned naira on clubbing.. I am talking blowing a girl’s mind and that’s not just the sexual aspect, I mean taking her to see the Premiere of Man of Steel, because you know she loves movies, buying her the limited edition of something she’ll appreciate, having an author sign her favorite novel.
I know a lot of women, that behave a certain way all because they don’t want to be ‘Come and chill’ zoned.

What is the ‘come and chill’ zone?
NEED YOU ASK?
Men are scared of meeting ‘chop clean mouth girls’ and I get that.. Totally. But before you decide to ‘come and chill’ zone a girl, know her well. The fact she is all calm doesn’t mean you can’t just surprise her or don’t you want to be seen with her in public? She can’t be that ugly naa, something drew you to her at first and we both know it wasn’t just ‘junior’. Lol
The ironic thing is y’all meet the chop and clean mouth girls and make her a ‘go out on a date’ girl.’Wife material’ sef. Then meet the chill mellow girls and just zone them, all because she seemed easy or rather she made things easy for you. It that fair???
Or the worst you don’t even look at the come and chill girl’s way, then later when you are stuck with ur ‘chop and clean mouth girl’, you are wishing she was chill and mellow. And you start complaining!!! MEN…and WOMEN! It’s almost like when women friend zone nice guys and chase after standard bastards.
This life is just a steaming pile of rotten beans!Self-Sabotage is almost second nature at this point.. It’s like we set ourselves up to fail, then start whining! I hate when I meet a guy and he says ‘Ah! You are the girl of my dreams, you love movies, games and even watch soccer, you don’t have a problem with my drinking and smoking.. Then I start feeling all kinds of awesome. Then you see the girl he is attracted to and she is so High maintenance, you wonder if she takes a dump!
So this is probably the shortest thing I have ever ranted about…so Men!
What’s the deal?! Cos I honestly cant be what I am not cause I want you to treat me differently.So what do you think?xx
Scarlet 

Image credit to Date a white guy and MadameNoire