Tag Archives: malfunction

Body Malfunction…

Sorry I have no pictures for this, the sight was for my eyes only and if you were there, pictures would have been the last thing on your mind too

So I had the misfortune to be at a colleagues desk the other day, during lunch, when disaster struck. I walked into her office and while approaching her desk I noticed something quite distracting, one more button was open than should be allowed and the room was cold so her chest was also at attention, not casual attention people but full blown attention. Being quite chummy with her I took a seat on her desk, just by her and my, was that a wrong move. Being at a higher altitude I had a vision of loveliness and whether it was intentional or not, the view increased from black and white to HD and then beyond. What we were discussing was quite interesting but… my eyes kept on straying and staying in places they shouldn’t have. If you have heard the swinging beat from D’Prince’s Give it to me now, and you know the tune, then you know the beat the most special part of me was swinging to. Trust me as a sharpp guy I immediately struck a pose (if you are a guy then you know the pose I am talking about, if you are a lady and you know then shame on you) to seem calm and normal. Oh yes o, I sharply crossed my legs. Then she started shaking unneccesarily, up, down, jiggle jiggle. That’s when I had a manopause, analysed the situation using all my theories and came to the conclusion that “This babe wan set me up sha”. I was sharply looking for how to disperse before all my soldiers decided on an all out war when all of a suddenly, she dropped something just by my feet and had to bend down to pick it… Thoughts that passed through my mind included:

  1. Baby come out, what do you want?
  2. See fresh fish..
  3. CHINEKE!!!!
  4. Your body is calling, my body responding
  5. No! No! NO!!!!

The idiot girl was not wearing a bra… She actually gave me a full view of her lovelies (and indeed they were.. Lovely). With the words from Kas, fi mi le baby fi mi le, ringing in my brain… I fled…

Note to self (for women)…

  1. If it cannot be controlled it is a malfunction (sadly it always does malfunction).
  2. If he can’t get it up its a dysfunction.
  3. If he can’t get it down… Baby RUN!

Shout out to JCPhoenixx whose crazy post  (I have to mind my language here I can’t call names).. partially inspired this.

To all the guys out there going through this, keep it real. To all the ladies out there causing problems like this in the lives of young men, in the words of D’Banj Olorun Maje


Single Nigerian Man 

PS Forgive me Jane Doe