Tag Archives: Introduction

Jane Singleton

 

I’m a single Nigerian girl. Forget the fact that my command of Nigerian pidgin is shaky at best and I couldn’t find my way to my village to save my life; all that is by the way. I think… English is the only language I’m fluent in; it what we speak at home and what I speak with my friends. That doesn’t make me any less Nigerian; I love my country. It helps that it’s the only country I know.

As for being single, hmmm. that aspect is purely my fault o. Sure, I know lotsa guys with at least some of the traits I seek, but the thing is, I refuse to “manage” any of them. No way. As a girlfriend of mine recently said, “I’m waiting for my Mr. Right o, no one else will do.” I agree and will hold on for that one dude who can crack my code (no innuendo intended), who will understand me and all my weird (cute) ways.

And so I find myself single, not necessarily looking to mingle, but not left with much of a choice either. Sure, there are always guys hanging around, they have a sixth sense for unattached females and girls in stable relationships. Frankly, I find their attempts to impress highly entertaining. Choosing not to grant any of their more incriminating requests is the definition of being single.

The life of a singleton is similar to being let loose in a crowded, rowdy market. Schlepping from shop to shop looking for the perfect outfit. So many great possibilities, but always with one unforgivable shortcoming or other. I have never been a girly girl. This, coupled with the panic of a fast-approaching unwanted birthday, make for a very long, tiring shopping experience for me.

Good thing I don’t wear heels, then.

It’s a blog thing?

Looking at the blogosphere, everyone who is anyone is blogging, writing about things that entertain, things that matter and things that honestly no one cares about. I could go on and on about the blogosphere but that will probably upset me a bit and make me foam just a little bit around the mouth (big lie but then really, who cares). And speaking of foaming around the mouth, let me say just a little bit about myself and this blog.

I am a single Nigerian man and by Nigerian man, I mean I have all the qualities of a typical Nigerian man well I lack quite a number of attributes, but best believe, the qualities are all there. The typical qualities of a Nigerian man include but are not limited to

  • Knowledge of pretty much anything on earth (basic knowledge I mean)
  • Knowledge of all the form factors of African women (Whatever level there is above basic)
  • Apparent ability to analyse african women from a distance and know all there is to know about them without having said one word to them (a skill that can be called upon only when we are in the company of friends who think just like us)
  • Love for all kinds of dishes that taste good, but most definitely cannot be cooked by us (In most cases)
Now every Nigerian man has one or more of these qualities and they may try to deny it, but then these qualities are like stickers and you can either stick it on their forehead, chest on the part of my anatomy slightly above my back pocket. Which brings me to the reason for starting this blog.. Ehmmm, boredom? Yeah that might be the primary reason, but then there is also the fact that Nigerian women know even less of Nigerian men than we do of them. We may have the same qualities, but we have rather different attributes (will explain more about this as time goes on)..
On a more serious note however, just thought to share my thoughts, ideas and perhaps escapades as a single Nigerian man to all and all who might by any chance stumble on my scribblings, I do hope if you don’t leave here endowed with some form of knowledge, that at least we share some laughs…
Welcome to my little world of intrigue, lies and wishful thinking. You will find me using some words you have never heard before, words you have heard before which you assumed meant something else and then words which I totally created right off the top of my head. You will also find out that I speak nearly perfect English, almost no native language and so you should please forgive me. However I speak nearly perfect pidgin, quite a bit of Waffi and quite a lot of rubbish. With your help, I guess I will have to make quite a number of changes.
Thanks for dropping by…
Regards
Single Nigerian Man
Oh yeah, I have absolutely no idea what the title of this post has to do with anything I just mentioned