School is over, tossed out of parents home, bosses bugging. Is it just me or are quality women getting scarce? I am sitting here with my three best buds across the room from me. One is human, two are not. Conversation trend? The rate at which men are marrying. That it is simply worrying, would be a gross understatement. It gives me sleepless nights (that I can assure you). My friend looks at me, he turns around and kisses Mary J, he says there is always Mary J, she is ever present. I look at him, he must be mad, I can’t be hanging out with you Mary J and
J.D forever man. I need to get out and get married. We can’t go on like this forever,
Mezie, babes dey finish o at this rate there will soon be nothing left in Nigeria to marry. We may have to get to Cotonou to get Tokunbo.
That is how conversations go, day in day out, we sit in this hot place talking about the same thing, work, prospects, some sports, then women, more work and then some more women, that is all we ever do. Today it is JD, tomorrow it is old faithful Guinness, day before yesterday we had Alomo bitters. Today got me thinking though, sitting in this room talking to my best bud, kissing Mary J, looking through this glass of mine…
Growing up as a kid, I was always fascinated by adult circles; you know the ones where old men sit together and talk about grown up
stuff. It was always fun hearing the jokes, the men yabbing themselves. I always wished that I could be part of it. However watching a circle as a kid and actually being in one are two different experiences entirely. Without any further ado I will break it down for you
The View from Outside:
Awesome view I must admit, men around the tv talking football, politics, playing draft, or just plain talking, they
all sounded so grown up and so (for lack of any words to call it) awesome. I couldn’t wait till the day I could join in be a part of it, just contribute something even if it was just laughs.
My View from Inside:
I have been in loads of circles since then from the age of 11 till sometime this year. WIthout further ado, I will
bring to you the best of the best from that time till now…
- Primary School Circle (Family): My first ever cirlces (forgive my english, I am speaking as a child), all we talked about was this bully, that girl, the strict teachers, the annoying principal, how that person cried when they were flogged, and how we would set the bully up one day (which never came). Those were the days, the joy of the innocence of youth. One had no cares no worries, al we had to do was get to school, attend calsses without getting flogged or beaten by bullies and get home. Simple. We stood around in circles and talked and then we went home. Those were the days mehn!!
- Junior Secondary Circles (PG): Notice the plural term? There were so many circles at this stage, it was sometimes to hard to keep up. The sheer amount of research one had to do was interesting. From hair sprouting out in funny areas, to voices breaking, finest/most attactive girls around to the downright scary ones, the baddest guy around, to getting to know ones self, the size of ones manhood, smoker, drinkers, fighters, etc. The few who were actually having sex (some with people in school others with home activities) and bragged about it. This was the beginning for many guys. Right now, I just laugh at silliness.
- Senior Secondary Circles (16 SNVL): Well at this point in time, guys had either figured out or were utterly confused about their sexuality so hormones kick in here (full time). From extreme cases of the horns to extreme cases of hair, guys usually got quite aggressive at this point. Arguments at home with parents, older ones and sisters were usually discussion topics. Plans for after school romps or gists of how they went. Weekend parties, stories of breasts touched and pants seen, etc. More lies, more action, more useless topics to discuss.
- Pre-University Circles (18 SNVL): Done with school waiting for university, a glimpse of what the future could hold sobers people up a bit. Stories of past romps in university are used to spice up the day a bit. Expect much laughter at jokes, people getting exposed, secrets being told, etc. All this happens at the beginning. As time goes by, with no university calling, expect more alcohol, less useful talk, all in a bid to briefly escape reality.
- University Circles (R18): Lecturers, babes, parents, children, fights, sights… The overall sights and sounds of universities made these circles one of the best to ever be a part of.. Smokes, drinks were the order of the day.. The memories.. Hmmm (not that I would partake of them again). A circle better experienced than talked about (I kid you not)
- Present Circles: Why talk about somethiing I have never experienced? Men in Sport clubs, boat clubs, golfing, fancy bars and restaurants? Who cares? Me and Mezie sit in my parlour, or his and we drink beer, smoke kpoli, and gossip. That is all we ever do.. Hearing the laughter from us you would think we were both clowns. We are most definitely not clowns! He is a banker and I am, I am… Oh CRAP!!! What am I? Mezie! MEZIE!!!! Pass me the kpoli…
Single Nigerian Man
S-Sex N-Nudity V-Violence L-Language
Disclaimer: No references were made to any real people in this post, no I was not high writing this