Tag Archives: death

Stress: The week so far…

Before I say anything else, can you please look at the picture and tell me where you lie?

Me: Insomnia, loss of appetite, fatigue, more fussy, alienation, indecisions, impaired judgement, frequent illnesses (not infections) restlessness and plenty other things oyibo people no sabi.

This was supposed to be a unusually worded rant about many things in particular but for a timely word from my daily devotional (a daily devotional I have not touched in a while I must confess). So without further ado here I go..

My health: After a pretty busy weekend, I woke up on Monday spewing forth bloody spitums (as my medical friends would call it). First thought that crossed my mind? Not again, I had the same thing the last Monday but it went. Seemed my endeavours over the weekend just brought it out again. Did I forget to mention that this would be my 8th or 9th trip to see a doctor this year? The thing hs everybody going crazy, but I know what the problem is. I need to spend 3 weeks of intense loving up with Jane Doe, so I tell myself. Truth, I need to get my God life back in play, for reals.

My job I know how I can go on and on about my job, but then this is the only place where I can take 4days off or die and no one would be really bothered unless Goodluck asks for something that is directly connected to me. I mean, any other place and I would have gotten the sack, the dump or the crap beaten right out of me. They had better fix my medical insurance soon though or else I will play dead.

Celibacy Dear bloggergood, I have decided to go celibate. No more flirting, or having evil thoughts about the female species. I solemnly swear to abstain from all manners of innuendos too as much as it pains me… Affected parties take note. Jane Doe is exempted of course (I jest). Reading 1 Corinthians 5 today scared the piss out of my bladder(s).

Oliver Twist Finally watched some Oliver Twist videos. There was one some people were going crazy about so I sought it and I found it. While the babe in the boxers had some astonishing moves, all my eyes went on going to were the mounds of flesh on her thighs *now shudders*. I am not judging though, my mirror tells me I suck, all the time.

Death With all the wahala this week I found myself thinking of death, well not the actual act but the following:

  1.  With all the ruckus that would happen on twitter, facebook and bbm if I passed on, I cannot help but wonder. What is it about death that makes us all go teary eyed? Please no bb updates, writing on my wall or twittering. Thanks.
  2. If I were to die, I would like to go out with a big bang. Sword in one hand, gun in the other, yelling and spitting insults in the face of a million foes. Death by blood from the chest or from lovesickness or some other wussy thing is not how I want to go *shudders*. Not at my age (no offence to all those in the hospital).

So I am here at work this morning, I have finished with all my activities for the week including catch up on past activities. I am now blogging, reading blogs. My dearest twinny has buzzed me already to get my chest checked out. I have to go too, I need it, before I get a deathwish (no pun intended).

This is not how I blog usually, there must be something wrong with me. Have to go back to babe bashing, theory forming and general nonsense.

With regards,

Single Nigerian Man

Disclaimer: All yarns above were totally conceived in my mind and in no way have any relation to anything or anyone you know. I am not suicidal, I am stressed, if you know a love doctor or a snurse(sex nurse), please refer.

May the celibacy begin.

Now what picture to use…

 

 

Random-Ish

Haven’t written anything in a while, but just feel I have to let some suff out. Free my mind and chest so I can just chill… Now I shall be slinging some mud about in this post so I guess the best place to start from would be me, when I am dirty enough I shall proceed.

Word for the day: Integrity /inˈtegritē/: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness

I have always thought I was a good guy, honest, dependable and most of all I thought I had quite a bit of integrity sprinkled about and that in summary, I met some lofty standards I set out for myself when I was in my teens. I have realized the following now though

  • I am not a man on integrity. I went on my knees as a teenager and vowed to devote my life to Christ my Savior, rose to my feet and broke just about every rule that there is in the book. Sometimes I still do.
  • I have been drunk, high but I have not killed a man, no I am far from perfect and I never laid any claim to it (perfection).

I am dirty enough, it is time to sling some mud.

  1. To all the people who believe they can blow their trumpets, the people who claim they are super stars and act so, all them people who are so full of themselves this is for you… Stars shine quietly, trumpets can’t blow themselves. If you are so good at what you claim to do, let your work speak for you. Oh, I forgot, I am in Nigeria the country where money works and bullshit talks. Clap for yourselves, well done.
  2. Been trying to wrap my mind around people who only want to have people that are of benefit to them around them. Really? So they are benefiting you, what are you giving them? I believe this rubbish started a long time ago with the words “Am I my brother’s keeper?”, need I say any more child of Tubal-Cain? Oh sorry they all died after the flood. That makes you a parasite.
  3. 90% of the people you know, think you suck, the remaining 10% consist of the psycophants you surround yourself with and yet you somehow think 90% of the people you know just beef you cos you are awesome? Reality check, they might be right, what you think about yourself isn’t always right. No, what you think God thinks about you doesn’t count either. If 90% of the people you know… Sorry if 50% of the people you know think you suck, then you probably do. No smoke without fire.
  4. I don’t understand why the death of a young person, gets all young people going up in sighs, tears and flames. I understand that someone died but then if you are doing a reality check based on that, let it have a timespan of more than 1 week. And it should apply in areas far beyond cyberspace. Apply number 1 to this.
  5. Now regardless of the rules and laws governing privacy and your ideas of what privacy should be, the internet has messed all that up, so remember this, DARPA owns you, whether you like it or not. If it has a send button on it, then it sure as hell isn’t private. If re-reading your messages make you feel slightly embarassed, used ambigous statements.

Now that aside, there has been a theory on my mind for about a month now, have shared it with several people and gotten laughed at. Laughed at right after they proved I was right. The theory does not have a name but here it goes

Guys make excuses when caught in bad acts. They can lie, any say all manner of things to get out of sticky situations and they fail miserably at it. Women on the other hand justify their acts and damn you to hell for thinking otherwise. The result, men fall into trouble when they get into trouble. Men also fall into trouble when women get into trouble.

In summary my fellow men, the next time you get into trouble, act like a woman!!! JUSTIFY!

Regards,

Single Nigerian Man

A lot of young people have died this year, and young people do not seem to care. Rest in Peace, you are not forgotten