Me: Insomnia, loss of appetite, fatigue, more fussy, alienation, indecisions, impaired judgement, frequent illnesses (not infections) restlessness and plenty other things oyibo people no sabi.
This was supposed to be a unusually worded rant about many things in particular but for a timely word from my daily devotional (a daily devotional I have not touched in a while I must confess). So without further ado here I go..
My health: After a pretty busy weekend, I woke up on Monday spewing forth bloody spitums (as my medical friends would call it). First thought that crossed my mind? Not again, I had the same thing the last Monday but it went. Seemed my endeavours over the weekend just brought it out again. Did I forget to mention that this would be my 8th or 9th trip to see a doctor this year? The thing hs everybody going crazy, but I know what the problem is. I need to spend 3 weeks of intense loving up with Jane Doe, so I tell myself. Truth, I need to get my God life back in play, for reals.
My job I know how I can go on and on about my job, but then this is the only place where I can take 4days off or die and no one would be really bothered unless Goodluck asks for something that is directly connected to me. I mean, any other place and I would have gotten the sack, the dump or the crap beaten right out of me. They had better fix my medical insurance soon though or else I will play dead.
Celibacy Dear bloggergood, I have decided to go celibate. No more flirting, or having evil thoughts about the female species. I solemnly swear to abstain from all manners of innuendos too as much as it pains me… Affected parties take note. Jane Doe is exempted of course (I jest). Reading 1 Corinthians 5 today scared the piss out of my bladder(s).
Oliver Twist Finally watched some Oliver Twist videos. There was one some people were going crazy about so I sought it and I found it. While the babe in the boxers had some astonishing moves, all my eyes went on going to were the mounds of flesh on her thighs *now shudders*. I am not judging though, my mirror tells me I suck, all the time.
Death With all the wahala this week I found myself thinking of death, well not the actual act but the following:
- With all the ruckus that would happen on twitter, facebook and bbm if I passed on, I cannot help but wonder. What is it about death that makes us all go teary eyed? Please no bb updates, writing on my wall or twittering. Thanks.
- If I were to die, I would like to go out with a big bang. Sword in one hand, gun in the other, yelling and spitting insults in the face of a million foes. Death by blood from the chest or from lovesickness or some other wussy thing is not how I want to go *shudders*. Not at my age (no offence to all those in the hospital).
So I am here at work this morning, I have finished with all my activities for the week including catch up on past activities. I am now blogging, reading blogs. My dearest twinny has buzzed me already to get my chest checked out. I have to go too, I need it, before I get a deathwish (no pun intended).
This is not how I blog usually, there must be something wrong with me. Have to go back to babe bashing, theory forming and general nonsense.
Single Nigerian Man
Disclaimer: All yarns above were totally conceived in my mind and in no way have any relation to anything or anyone you know. I am not suicidal, I am stressed, if you know a love doctor or a snurse(sex nurse), please refer.
May the celibacy begin.
Now what picture to use…