Been suffering from internet deficiency syndrome for some days now. In case you don’t know what that means, it is ones inability to get some net browsage over a period of 3days. It drives me bonkers. Maybe that’s why I have been having a case of theories. Oh yes, case of theories happens when I immediately suspect everything that happens around me. Without much ado, let me dive into my post.
I had the misfortune to attend two weddings in a row on Saturday (here’s me hoping none of them ever read this post, I would just die). Wouldn’t you marry? That’s the question I hear in your mind dear reader. Yes I will, but then if I had my way I would marry on a Tuesday just me and my dearest and then spirit her away for the next two weeks for intense coupling to mention a few (there my mind goes again). Ahem… Where was I…?
Had the misfortune to attend two weddings on Saturday but my misery did not start there. My misery started when I decided to attended the Bach Eve scheduled the night before. Here are my theories on the entire weekend.
- If you walk into a Bach Eve or any other party and you see many men wait a bit. If after 15 minutes you only see more men trooping in, GO HOME IMMEDIATELY!! Applies to all sexes
- Too many men, too much alcohol, too few ladies and you are poised for a borderline disaster movie.
- Like the stories I heard before I did my NYSC, on the amount of sex that goes on in there (all false), Bach Eves are overhyped events scheduled to make married men feel special (an opportunity for them to touch and squeeze properties aside from the ones they left at home). They are not planned in anyway to benefit the groom or single brothers in the house. I SHALL NOT HAVE A BACH EVE!!!
- If you are a wedding crasher (there only for the chicks) analyse the bride carefully before you attend the wedding. If she is on the average, kindly avoid the wedding. No bride wants any babe to outshine her on her wedding day. Chances are that if you meet a fine babe there, she is either cousin, sister or taken. AVOID!!! In mathematical terms… The beauty of the bride is directly proportional to the number of fine single babes you will encounter in the wedding
- I believe that bankers and people in the financial industrial, make the most use of the red light district. They follow closely behind law enforcement personnel
Would say more, but then I think that covers my opinions on the whole wedding things.. That aside, I can’t wait for mine and I do hope it happens sometime soon.
Single Nigerian Man
Disclaimer: This is a totally rubbish post written out of boredom. In my bid to have something online I tried to pen down all the random thoughts and theories I thought up over the weekend. Please forgive me for putting you through this.
Notice: Now looking for Single Nigerian Woman/Girl to pen down her thoughts and add some women flava to this whole thing.. No I will not hit on you (I promise)