When I was young-er, I thought a lot of things of the world. I thought Nigeria was awesome, I thought I could prosper as an ashawo, I thought I would have gone around the world by now, I thought imagination was all I needed, I thought a no strings attached relationship was a myth.
I am now young and I realise that all these things should remain as they are. As thoughts, except for the last one. A no strings attached relationship has remained a myth.
You see I know a guy. Guy meets fine lovely (stunning) beauty and chats her up. Let’s call guy A and call girl B(-arbie, -eyonce, -elle, whichever one rocks your boat).
In the process of chatting, A discovers that B has a boyfriend outside the country. By rights this removes everything about a relationship right? Right?
Oh no, B says she wants a no strings attached friendship where everything is in the picture but sex. At this point, I am looking at A, thinking; “surely bro, you surely surely borrowed some brain and left the building”
A laughed and showed me a picture and I realised that truly truly, “the weapons of our warfare are indeed not carnal“. I sat down to consume the full gist
Anyway, A proceeded with this no strings attached relationship and is still proceeding… But then this is what I figured out from the gist
- When someone comes to you saying they want a no strings attached relationship, they usually mean that they don’t want your strings connecting to them. Instead they want to connect the entire PHCN to your power producing plant. I call them blood suckers
You see, I don’t understand why a woman with a relationship will be seeking a no strings attached relationship. Well i do understand but I don’t understand
She doesn’t want A to call her babe, but she wants to wax luxuriously in all the attention that he should be giving someone else. Cos hey, she gets annoyed and jealous when he is with other B’s but wants him to accept that she will be with her other A without issues? Knowing men are generally rather possessive in nature?
I say God should punish her (not literally but then you get the point)
- For some weird reason, some people think that kissing someone else is cheating, but doing all else isn’t. I mean, they will have sex with you and all but without kissing involved. I call it witchcraft
Me I am just here sitting and judging them. Like I understand that this world is a crazy place but hey, isn’t kissing the hello and hi of sex?
But then what do I know, I am still a virgin.
Summary of this is…
If they call or come to you with a no strings attached proposal, kindly bless their soul, pray for their hearts, tell them you will think about it.
No people. Change your bb pin (thank you BBM for Apple and Android), change your email address, change your number.
That is like having a deal with the devil. You will surely lose out at the end. Unless you repent.
Disclaimer: Not all tales told here have tail or head for that matter. Just feast on the body.
In Other News
I will like to clear the air about some things. You see the thing about blogging anonymously is that after a while, it becomes stressful, especially if you blog regularly. By regularly I mean every week or every other day. At some point in time something is leaked, all hell will break loose and ehmmm… Well. I am not anonymous though, although a lot of you think I am neither am I going to come out and put up my picture (I still like my job). However that is the reason I don’t come out and rant here as often as I used to (or something like that)
Life is happening and anonymity can’t keep up with it at the moment.
Image credit Factfixx