SNM Chronicles – The Problem With Strings

When I was young-er, I thought a lot of things of the world. I thought Nigeria was awesome, I thought I could prosper as an ashawo, I thought I would have gone around the world by now, I thought imagination was all I needed, I thought a no strings attached relationship was a myth.

I am now young and I realise that all these things should remain as they are. As thoughts, except for the last one. A no strings attached relationship has remained a myth. 

You see I know a guy. Guy meets fine lovely (stunning) beauty and chats her up. Let’s call guy A and call girl B(-arbie, -eyonce, -elle, whichever one rocks your boat).

In the process of chatting, A discovers that B has a boyfriend outside the country. By rights this removes everything about a relationship right? Right?

Oh no, B says she wants a no strings attached friendship where everything is in the picture but sex. At this point, I am looking at A, thinking; “surely bro, you surely surely borrowed some brain and left the building

A laughed and showed me a picture and I realised that truly truly, “the weapons of our warfare are indeed not carnal“. I sat down to consume the full gist

Anyway, A proceeded with this no strings attached relationship and is still proceeding… But then this is what I figured out from the gist

  • When someone comes to you saying they want a no strings attached relationship, they usually mean that they don’t want your strings connecting to them. Instead they want to connect the entire PHCN to your power producing plant. I call them blood suckers

You see, I don’t understand why a woman with a relationship will be seeking a no strings attached relationship. Well i do understand but I don’t understand

She doesn’t want A to call her babe, but she wants to wax luxuriously in all the attention that he should be giving someone else. Cos hey, she gets annoyed and jealous when he is with other B’s but wants him to accept that she will be with her other A without issues? Knowing men are generally rather possessive in nature?

I say God should punish her (not literally but then you get the point)

  • For some weird reason, some people think that kissing someone else is cheating, but doing all else isn’t. I mean, they will have sex with you and all but without kissing involved. I call it witchcraft

Me I am just here sitting and judging them. Like I understand that this world is a crazy place but hey, isn’t kissing the hello and hi of sex?

But then what do I know, I am still a virgin.

Summary of this is…

If they call or come to you with a no strings attached proposal, kindly bless their soul, pray for their hearts, tell them you will think about it.

No people. Change your bb pin (thank you BBM for Apple and Android), change your email address, change your number.

That is like having a deal with the devil. You will surely lose out at the end. Unless you repent.


Thank you!!!



Disclaimer: Not all tales told here have tail or head for that matter. Just feast on the body.


In Other News

I will like to clear the air about some things. You see the thing about blogging anonymously is that after a while, it becomes stressful, especially if you blog regularly. By regularly I mean every week or every other day. At some point in time something is leaked, all hell will break loose and ehmmm… Well. I am not anonymous though, although a lot of you think I am neither am I going to come out and put up my picture (I still like my job). However that is the reason I don’t come out and rant here as often as I used to (or something like that)

Life is happening and anonymity can’t keep up with it at the moment.


Image credit Factfixx

7 thoughts on “SNM Chronicles – The Problem With Strings”

  1. Life = Pot of burnt beans. Burnt and salty beans
    You could still prosper as an ashawo
    I totally feel you on the anon blogging thing. I can’t rant as often as i’d like anymore

  2. Bia Bia Bia….who knows you? Why cant you rant? If you lose that job, you’ll get another!……*take me seriously at your own peril*
    Why cant you have a no-strings attached relationship with Barbie? Worriz the pralem? Oh you already mentioned it…*shrug* oh well!!! We ladies are who we are…and you (gentle)men are who you are

  3. You can not be a virgin bruh, arent you like 60 years old? lol JK. If I m A I must be with other B’s o, the situation is lie carte blanche to be as segsually adventurous as possible. I think people do the kissing is not cheating thing to make themselves feel better. I say why dont we drop all these rules and just have fun. The world would be a lot more simpler. Lets kiss and cavort until we decide not to do so anymore.

  4. I know girls like B. They will suck you dey like fanmilk. Pls jump keke and zoom off. Lol
    This post is hilarious.
    MissMeddle just killed me.
    See you guys complaining of how draining blogging anon can be while I’m wishing I started blogging anonymously. There are some things I wanna say that I can’t because everyone knows my gave and surname. Therefore, I don’t wanna lose my MSc school fees from my father, who is not a crap taker.

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