Parental Advice…

So after careful thinking, I came up with advice I would have loved to hear while growing up. Penned down for my kids (present and future)…

My daughter…

  1. Never ever sleep with any man or woman for money, however after you marry, your husband must give you gifts outside the bedroom and outside of special occasions. No, good sex is not a gift.
  2. If he must see your breasts or any part of your body, it absolutely has to cost him dearly… Love is priceless, sight of flesh isn’t. Make him pay
  3. It is very important that you keep your eyes open and your legs closed… Remember this at all times. No, surprises are not allowed.
  4. Men lie all the time, it is up to you to be loyal, but lie better. Remember this as sometimes you may have to lie for both of you.
  5. If he says he loves you, he doesn’t. If he says he loves you when you are on your period and he is a thousand miles away, then maybe he does. If he shows you he loves you when you are on your period and he is right beside you, please keep him. He is either very much in love or he is an excellent actor (money making potentials)

My son.

  1. If she is toying with you, forget about her and buy a new toy before she reaches your brains…
  2. If she let’s you sleep with her on the first week and you are silly enough to do it, please wear protection and make it sloppy. If it took you time and effort to get her in bed, then make sure she remembers you.
  3. Women are excellent liars and grudge keepers, make sure you don’t get caught in a lie.
  4. Always let the woman break up with you. Saves the time and energy you will need to do it yourself.
  5. If you want to surprise her just act stupid. They love things like that and will rub it in your face just for the hell of it. That is good news because it will distract them  from your real purpose.

Know your husband or wife early my children, the knowledge can help you focus. Above all else, guard your heart and mind… Else you will be used and dumped by all manner of people. Remember people may like used goods but no one likes used trash. So make yourself accessible to all but keep your heart sacred, to just one..

With love,

Your dad
Single Nigerian Man

11 thoughts on “Parental Advice…”

  1. Dude, there seems to be a recurring theme in the advice to your daughter about doing something to recieving something in return. There’s a danger she may practice that on your first – so get ready to cough up to your little princess.

    Not sure i agree with the advice of knowing your partner early, the quest to find one early could distract them at a time in their lives when they need to be really focused. Rather they ought to discover their purpose first and be clear on what sort of person they want.

    Reminds me of an old post of mine on what every (black) man should know – check it out and let me know what you think. http://msluffa.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/what-every-black-man-should-know

      1. You’ll have a ball fathering a girl – fun times ahead. I find that a lot of the ”advice’ I got growing up lacked a lot of substance – wouldn’t been great if as many explanations backed up the do’s and don’ts.
        I discovered your blog today and I have to say- your style is different and original on many levels. I’ll definitely be a regular

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