Introducing: Single Lagos Girl and a Giveaway.

No, I am not giving away a Single Lagos Girl.

It has been a while. Some work has been going on behind the scenes and it has been done in the hope that the experience on here and the frequency of posts will improve.

First of, I will like to introduce the latest guest blogger, Single Lagos Girl. Well single as long as she can as she is, well… *coughs*. In the coming weeks she will be engaging us all with posts about her experiences.

Secondly, I apologize to all the readers who have been viewing the site and posts with their phones as I am sure the experience has been horrible. That has been sorted out and will be for the upcoming months. Apologies again.

Thirdly, unless an Act of God occurs, I do intend to finish my Letter Series, start up my Zone Series and if possible, start up a Diary as well of events that have happened in the past. If you have followed this blog till date, I will be using terms that I and Chinese Old Man will have coined up. No offence meant Shi Fu.

The year is winding down and it has been all sorts of awesome. Met amazing people, started an amazing journey (I never marry o). And I am grateful. So… To wrap up the year, there will be a giveaway. For more information about the giveaway, please visit the page. Now the giveaway starts up on Monday the 4th of November and will be running till the 10th of December, so there technically isn’t anything you can do yet, please do come back on Monday.

There will be blog posts (I promise) and there will be another announcement before the year runs out. Thanks so much for being a part of the journey.

Regards,

SNM

Disclaimer: This is probably the first serious thing I have written in a long while. Please do take it seriously :).

In Other News

Can we welcome Single Lagos Girl on here. To the people who have been here right from the beginning. Thank you, names are plenty, too many to be mentioned, but many thanks.

If you know any organizations willing to get a bullet proof vehicle for me? I don’t want a limo or a Range. I would like a Land Rover Defender or Toinlicious. Thanks in advance.

I am sorry, no S4 this year people.

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God will richly bless you

Going Houdini – Annoying Men

So here’s the thing: I haven’t seriously dated anyone in two years. I’m not counting the year I spent with Lover A as a relationship. No, it wasn’t a relationship; it was a waste of time. Moving on…

People usually tell me that I’m pretty and smart and other delightful things. I look in the mirror every morning and I agree. I’m not at all bad to look at. But some way, somehow, I always attract the wrong kind of guys. Guys that want company when they don’t have a better option, guys that ask you to help them with picking out stuff for their new apartments, guys that take you out and are all chummy with you but never ask you out, guys that just want to have sex, guys that don’t know what they want but want you to be with them in their cluelessness, etc. You may say, “Maybe it’s the way you carry yourself.” Or “Maybe you’re so good a friend they don’t want to ruin it with a relationship” or even, “At least your market is selling”. Before you tell me that in the comments, just know now that I think it is bull. I’ve thought about it and think that good men are just truly hard to find. Just like how original Ray Ban wayfarers are hard to find.

Anyway, today’s post is mostly about Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful hit me like a train! Charm, looks, sense of humor, everything! Just when I was confident that I had finally begun to attract the Mr Rights of this world, Wonderboy pulled a Houdini on me. I was stunned and was in my disillusioned state for a couple of days. In those couple of days, I read almost every blog post on dating sites about Houdini men, I cried every night, I imagined and sometimes dreamed my phone was ringing when it wasn’t. I replayed every single conversation we had in my head, asking myself where I acted or said something to turn him off. In fact that same week, I had already started receiving therapy from a friend of mine when Mr. Wonderful reappeared blaming his disappearance on work. He apologized profusely wondering why I was so mad;

imagine! As if I was the crazy one!

Please, people of God, am I crazy for being worried about Wonderboy when he disappeared? Should I have done nothing instead of calling him twice (without him picking or returning) OR should I have blown his phone up and out of this galaxy?!

And more importantly, how do you propose I make Mr Wonderful atone for his sin?!

Scarlet Writes: Celibacy

I just want to have sex. It’s been 5 months now and at this point, I have gone numb all over. A cold shower is now the equivalent of wild, inhibited, primal nookie. A hot shower is the same as long walks, speaking sweet nothings and indulging in little pleasures like Rum, butter scotch flavored ice cream, chocolate cake or milk chocolate. Oh yeah, that is the most action I have had in all 5 months.

You know when I made this pact, it seemed like a pretty smart idea. Stay off sex for 6months. I was sure I could do it!! But by the third month, I was seeing red. This coupled with the fact that my lips had forgotten what a kiss felt like, or the wonders a hand was capable of! *sigh*

Well I survived up until month four when the universe decides to toy with me.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

All he did was pay me a complement and my brain shut down,for the next 2 hours I blacked out!

So back to my Topic, the one I always had in mind

CELIBACY

Myth or possibility?

Can someone who is active sexually be celibate?My honest opinion? Laugh.Out.Loud

Sex will FIND you, Be very Afraid! Its impossible, maybe a monk could pull it off, but kids of today? Ha!!!

A camel has a better chance of passing a needle’s eye, no one and I mean no one is fully celibate. Reminds me of that movie 40 days, 40 nights (My inspiration for this madness); the movie where yummy Josh Hartnett gives up sex for the Lenten period because for some reason, whenever he is having sex it seems like there is an earthquake in the room and the walls are closing in on him, that is crazy awesome (In my opinion. But what do I know?). I went celibate for 8months with no reason, to no point and purpose!

I digress…

Well he lasted up to day 39, plus that was a movie.

In real life, no frigging way because the flesh is way too weak, unless you are asexual like some chick i knew that hates sex, lets forget that topic, it is too ‘morbid’ for this talk.

No one can every truly be celibate there must be some sort of outlet

Some people turn to hobbies; writing,reading, etc. But at some point sex will catch up with you. Some spank the monkey, polish the knob; can’t think of any other phases to describe it (they masturbate). Now this act was an abomination some twenty years ago but for some reason, it’s now acceptable to choke the chicken, slap the salami, dig for clams, ’just reading mom’, whack the saddle, stroke the magic lamp, audition the finger puppets.. WHOA!!! Google has alot of phrases to describe this act.

So the million dollar question; Can you claim to be celibate while choking the bishop, shaving the carrot, cleaning the rifle, enagaging in safe sex, greasing the pole? Seriously though the names are endless…

And the answer is NO!

Celibacy is not as easy as u might think, even a virgin that masturbates isn’t celibate. A friend of mine claimed he was celibate for a whole year and he doesn’t masturbate and I laughed in his face. So u didn’t have sex for a year big whoop but to say u were celibate, because you didn’t engage in a physical relationship with the opposite sex is just laughable. Puuuhlease don’t deceive yourself, you were having sex with yourself (technically).

As for people who claim not to touch themselves, you might as well start wearing spandex with an alphabet on chest ,cause that’s definitely a ‘superpower’’!

Scarlet