Men ‘o’ pause has now been changed to Manopause for writability sake (and it does sound and look better too I must admit)
I went to bed last night and the last thing that crossed my mind was you Jane Doe, right before I drifted off. I woke up this morning and the first thing that crossed my mind again was you, the next thing that crossed my mind was “Why one earth hasn’t she buzzed me, is she ok?” On a good day I wouldn’t bother, I would chill, prepare for my work day and start it. Not today though, today I lay back in bed and I started wondering, wondering what is, what could be and what is not.. Rather than bother you with my thought processes about Jane Doe, let me get somethings off my chest.
I understand that women and men are very different in very many areas. I understand that women are mainly guided by how they feel about something at a particular moment, but its like women fail to realise one very important thing about men… Men operate with timelines. Yes timelines. If something doesn’t happen at the time it is expected we are patient for a while longer and then we begin to fret. We may not say anything but we DO fret. And a quietly fretting and worrying man is just an accident waiting to happen. It is worse if we do talk about it half and half or we talk about it and nothing happens, why? Because you made him actually say something and you nothing happened after he did. At least that is off my chest.
That brings me to the the wonderful new word that was crafted in my brain right in the middle of my confused state of upset, anger, sadness and sense of impending misery. The word is men ‘o’ pause (hehe.. reading the word right now just gives me the laughs, actually makes me feel better)
Men ‘o’ pause |ˈmen -ə-ˌpȯz: is the exact moment a male begins to ask himself what on earth he is doing with a particular female. This female could be a friend, a girlfriend or even a wife.
Now that is defined on to the main purpose of my post…
Causes of “men ‘o’ pause”
- He likes her but she don’t like him enough, yet she is willing to waste the time he could have spent looking for someone else.
- She wants him to chase her in the exact way and manner she desires, and while she doesn’t say how, she is willing to wait till he finally
gets it right. But puts him down like a dog anytime he doesn’t
- She is leaving town for a long time and while he is willing to be in the relationship, she says she is scared of long-distance and is not willing to try and see if it works out and then she expects him to stick around. Yeah Right!!!
- One of my favourites. He is chasing her and she likes him but won’t date. She also likes Okafor, Olumide and Oliver and she talks about themall the time. Truth, none of them are even up to him. “I can’t put all my eggs in one basket dear, I need to make something out of myself”. Words she tells him repeatedly.
- He waits on her constantly, is there for her when she needs him and at the end of the day she says “I am bored, I need some action”
- No guy likes being unsure of where he stands with a woman, it makes them cranky, quickly irritated and very suspecting. All the attributes women hate in a guy. If you like him let him know, if you hate him let him know and then please desist from eating his money or wasting his time. Just free them in every sense. They will hate you but then they won’t do you bodily harm
- There comes a time in every man’s life when they really need to be alone. Not because they are mad at you, but because frankly the world sucks at the moment and they will just like to feel miserable for a day or two. You have your menses we have that, so please respect it. It is not a time to nag or tell us to get up on our feet and stop feeling miserable. If anything comes out of your mouth it should be consoling, else save it… Do it long enough and…
- There is friend for food, friend for fame, friend for money and friend for problems… If a woman can be categorized into one of them areas then it is likely she wouln’t last long in a guys life. More the pity if she actually likes him.
To all the sisters out there that look down on a brother because he doesn’t suit you at the moment, not enough money, too far away, not good enough, not bad enough, not prayerful enough, etc. Guess what? It actually makes us feel really bad and it can make an entirely wonderful day start out crappy
Funny how no one wants to date a Pastor, but everyone wants to marry one? Especially when they are successful. Twill surprise you how many women have God fearing man as number one on their list
DISCLAIMER: This isn’t meant to offend anyone though frankly I wrote it feeling really pissed (so forgive any grammatical errors). I know many fine and outstanding young ladies. I am not sexually discriminating anyone, just stating the obvious in quite subtle ways.. PS Jane Doe, I still love you.
Sometimes, women just piss me off big time. This is one of them. I shall stand in front of the mirror each money and recite to myself repeatedly from this day henceforth.
John Doe is single
And I shall do it Naked!
Please, do not let the sun go down on your anger!!!