Category Archives: Relationships

Posts on relationships, love, hate and everything in between

Scarlett Writes: Window of Opportunity

Hello Everyone, Happy Post Holidays. I had this long post on how awesome my easter weekend was gonna be, because I had plans!!! Unfortunately, I spent all weekend in bed, alone all through the holidays. I am shocked! Oh Well. I figured you all deserve a story

I know today is Wednesday technically Tuesday because Monday was Sunday *errr* You catch my drift :). So my post today will be short and to the point.

*drumroll*

The ‘Window of Opportunity’
Y’all already know what the window of opportunity is but allow me to explain,

The window of opportunity is that period of grace we all(women) allocate that potential Lover, friend with benefit( before the benefits of course),You know that time when you wait patiently for said guy to ask you out on a date, a meeting and in some cases a ‘slam, bam thank you very much’…
So Ladies, How long do you keep your window of Opportunity ‘open’? Two weeks? A month?

FYI….this window could also be called a ‘box of opportunity’ or if I may be so bold; ‘The Goody Bag’

Ok. Imagine this, lemme break it down *in JT’s voice’
You meet a guy, you like him, he seems to like you but he isn’t taking the ‘let’s see a movie this weekend’ or ‘let’s have drinks this weekend’ hints. Its hella frustrating but you have to wait as a woman abi? Pffffft!
Well for me,I see a spark and I want to throw some fuel on that spark and see those flames ignite….FAST!
We aren’t getting any younger you know
So? I hint and in some cases I take the bull by the horn and I say “Hey! Wanna hang this weekend?” Yes!! I am that forward. It works for me. So when I close my ‘window’, it usually means that it has been toooo long and I cannot categorically explain my disappointment in this guy in question.

How long is too long? I ask again…A year? 6months? Ehmmm… Is a year and a half too long?

I am ridiculously patient when it comes to the opposite sex and I am a firm believer of giving that guy the looooongest of ropes to hang himself (I.DO.NOT.LIKE.GAMES). So when I finally kick the chair from under him, he usually knows he has messed up and the space that used to have a window is sealed shut with bricks, cement and iron bars.

Why so mean? Because it is risky to make your intentions known, Some guys BOLT.. that whole macho thing, wanting to be in control of a situation, but some are smart enough to see the rest of this story as it unfolds.

When I make my intentions known (directly, indirectly depends on how I feel about this person) I start the timer and watch you get on that chair and knot your own noose, you’ll be begging me to put you out of your misery. Soon
Too much on the morbid analogy?….*sips chilled coke*
So, this happened to me
I met this interesting individual, by the second phone call we had,I knew he was getting lucky.
Problem, he wasn’t taking the bait
He was always too busy, Forgetful
But still he called occasionally and a lot of BBM convos about things I found interesting, I wanted this human being to ask me out, but he never did!!
I would put myself out there, he would say “OK,we’ll hook up”.
But weekend came, I would call/ping to ask what happened… Excuses! Excuses!!
STILL NOTHING.
A lot of Ok, k, kks, GTGs… endless BRBs
Dangling me on a hook, watching me squirm, I was frustrated, wanted to throw tantrums his ways at some point, but I held my own. After a while, I lost interest… Of course!!!
Then the Universe decided it was time to have some fun (loool).
Finally, I met him again at another gathering, this was 12 calendar months and even some more months later… and all of a sudden, he had ‘Tunnel Vision’ for me, (probably all that drinking). Suddenly he had the whole week open and could meet me up for drinks at anytime or movies. He was all over me,trying to get me alone, to some dark corner, I obliged. *watching him get up on that chair and tie the rope to a branch*

Finally he gets me to a quiet place outside, he sits opposite me, he saying how he is always so busy, but now he is wide-open, apologising blaa blaa blaaa.. Holding my gaze, saying how gorgoeus I looked, hoping for a snog et al *knotting and adjusting the noose around his neck*

Nothing.
He asks one last time; “Would I have been lucky then?” And I replied with my naughtiest smile….”Oooooh, you have no idea what you missed out on”…still smiling,I stroked his thigh, oh so slowly, leaned closer, looked him straight in the eye, inches from his face and I slowly said…. “NEVER.GONNA.HAPPEN.YOU.HAD.YOUR.CHANCE”……

He had a priceless expression on his face, I stood up and as he moved out of my way, I walked away in my best strut! Never looking back, I imagined I was walking away from an explosion! IT FELT AWESOME!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Was that Harsh? I think not…..
Any man that is too busy to see you, forgets his appointments with you isn’t a serious candidate for the goody bag!
Sad Guy up there might be looking for a million of things or just one thing, but his window closed. Life goes on.
I know my men, and I know if a man wants something, it could be the goody bag, the box or even the delight of your company.

HE WILL MAKE TIME, he will chase you to the ends of the earth if needs be, If he doesn’t?
then ‘Sis.. He isn’t that’s into you’! That’s gospel!
You probably didn’t hear it first here, but this is a friendly reminder.

So please, if you have stories and you are in a sharing mood, I would love to hear them
Have a great Hump day!

xoxo
Scarlett

The Scarlet Diaries: Battle of the Sexes

This is one battle that will never be won, too much fraternizing with the ‘enemy’ (by enemy I mean the opposite sex; by fraternize I mean sex)
As a woman, I’ll write from MY views…
So I was at the salon the other day and I overhead some girls ‘gisting‘, even in hush tones I knew it was interesting gist so I listened.

  • Girl A : Men eh!!! Na wah oh, so he just started behaving like nothing happened after how amazing the sex was?
  • Girl B : Yes oh. Whenever I called him, he would answer sounding all business like, nonchalant or he is driving or in a meeting.
  • Girl A: sorry dear, I know you liked this one, at least you got yours *giggles* Na wah Men are so annoying.
  • Girl B: I swear I am not even bothered; I am so done with him and Men in general!

At this point I almost chipped in ‘Honey, not by a long shot’ which would have been rewarded with a shitstorm of insults or even a slap, so I scoffed LOUDLY and returned to the Nollywood I was watching.
Let’s be honest, the truth now; lie it down on the table or floor, or bed, or even nail it against a wall … Sorry. The truth is, if amazing sex guy calls girl b, she’ll go see him, like sheep to slaughter, like the proverbial moth to a flame…. You know why? Good sex

Good sex is unbelievably Hard… Difficult  to find and she(Girl B) is probably thinking of all the deeply sick things, non-chalant/amazing sex guy did to her and she is thinking of getting some more of that drug.

*np Pusher Love Girl -Justin Timberlake*

She’ll probably not say this to her friend and her friend might be in this EXACT situation…lol
WOMEN!!!
Then imagine if it was mind-altering sex…Ah! You know that kind that returns your brain to the original factory setting and you forget how to form words.
That kind of sex that turns you to a heap of Flesh, bone and sweat. I call this particular ‘drug’ LSD (the ick is silent of course)
What is LSD?
*gasps*
You can’t tell me, you’ve never had LSDICK! That’s the ish (I’ll get back to this)
So where was I?
Oh yeah.. the Battle of the Sexes

So even if by some miracle, men and women form same sex alliance to take down the other side… I am so sneaking off to go fraternize with the enemy. Women reading this, stop rumpling face jo! You know I speak the truth.
We have partially won all the other wars; Females go to school, vote, females are leading nations
But the day a woman won’t be judged for having a voracious sexual appetite will NEVER come. The Feminine Version for the word ‘Stud’ is Ho, it’s unfortunate but true, so instead of all this ‘battle of the sexes’ let’s ease off all that stress with good ol’ sex. Life is already too serious as it is. Pretense and Prudence won’t get you some, so please fraternize as much as possible. Those memories will keep you company when you are old and grey.

As for my Darling Men, I love you guys, but you are a serious thorn in my flesh and a Pain in my behind *pun unintended or intended if you are into that sort of thing*
You know why? Subtlety isn’t in your dictionary, of all the things that I know that upsets women, it’s that feeling of being used and discarded, not saying I don’t like being used.. Lol! Just don’t toss me. Maybe because as a man you lack this inherent ability, and we were probably too busy ripping off each other’s clothes to discuss, the ‘benefits’ of our agreement.. Still… Don’t run….

Let me let u in on a secret, it’s easier than you think. I am assuming Girl B is above consenting age, so all I want to say is… ‘Wean’.
Withdrawal syndrome is the reason some women get all psycho-bitch and crazy, Wean her of LSD don’t cut her off like a diseased part of fruit.. That shit isn’t cool. If the sex was good then it can’t be so horrible to give her a taste a few more times. Oh wait, you tell her you have a girlfriend and don’t want to hurt either one of them, it was a mistake, blah blah blah, no one slips and falls into a vagina..

or do they?
or do they?

Nope, it is a conscious effort to cheat (if that is in fact the truth). I think that Men have run out of reasons to dump a woman, but let me just say it is cruel to just stop answering her calls or replying her messages.. Wean her off you, if you were meeting every day, change it to 3 times a week, then once week, if you reduce the attention you are giving her, she will look for attention elsewhere and in time… Of course there is a risk that she’s fall deeper and deeper in love with you, the neglect might be a turn on for  some (Awesome Turn-on for most..LOL, but then that’s the small fine print)
Oh wait, I have another solution, I know men like to be all macho and be the best in the sack but maybe just maybe start doing rubbish.. Oh shit, women talk… she’ll spoil your market. Na wah oh there really is no middle ground with this.. At the end of the day, the truth is, our heads turn to mush when it comes to the opposite sex, there really isn’t one way to deal with everyone. Maybe in his mind being distant is a good way to go, cruel as it is. It works. Weeks will pass by and the girl will forget that amazing sex from LSD and move on….(This story is far from over)
I have digressed so much I have forgotten what I was talking about… Oh yeah! Fraternizing oh so sweetly with the other side..Going Rouge! Switching sides and positions… Ok,  I am done

Men! Women!ENJOY!! The little pleasures of life
If he/she becomes distant,move on! There should be some other dude out there willing to slip and fall into some naughtiness *wink* wink*
Have an awesome hump day(Wednesday)
Xxx


Scarlet

Miss Meddle’s Mind: So You Think You Can Date?

Be careful what you wish for, ‘cos you just might get it. And when you do, it may not be all you cracked it up to be.

So you get to that point in your life when you feel you’ve fooled around long enough, and it’s best for your health to try to have an actual relationship. OK. Enter possible partners. Watch yourself fixate on the absolutely intolerable habits of each new person who comes your way.

[unordered_list style=”red-x”]

  • This one smokes, and doesn’t look like someone who appreciates drastic lifestyle changes.
  • That one is of a different religious inclination and you simply cannot put up with such a wide gap in belief systems.
  • Bobo e has an eye that positively glints when anything female passes within a 50 mile radius.
  • This sisi will run you into an early financial grave if given half the chance.

[/unordered_list]

Dating
Wouldn’t this be awesome?

An alternate title for this post would be: The Big “But”.

You find someone who seems relatively normal, who is of the same religious inclination, who you are certain you could introduce to your family at some point down the line without being laughed out of the house, someone who meets at least some of your physical specs, a creature with tangible goals and visible struggles to attain said goals, but

But he doesn’t make you laugh, or she doesn’t turn you on (this is me making a joke; this is near impossible for a healthy man), or he’s unforgivably short, or she has a cruel H-factor accent…

sabotage

Another title for this post could be “Self-Sabotage”.

What is the problem, really? Is your little “reason” enough to let go of a rather “okay” person? Or is it something else? Maybe a little more baggage than most? Maybe just a fear of the unknown? An unwillingness to try out something… someONE new?

Sigh.

This weird post is really just me trying to figure out some things. And also find out if anyone out there goes through such complications in the Man-Woman things of life.

P.S.

God grant us all the patience to sift through possibilities, the tolerance to endure the compromisable, the strength to walk away from the destructive, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

Cheers,

@msmeddle

Being a Gentleman

Being a dignified gentleman is not about how much you have to give as much as it is the desire to give however much or little you do have – Jane Helpern

Now first of all (not introduction), that very day(Valentine’s Day if you did not get the memo) is now 10 days away. This means we have 10 days of (for us single or near single people) walking around with our eyes, ears and lips closed. Praying earnestly for the 15th of February to come because it means that once again we can have relative peace. People will be talking about their partners, their spouses and what they intend to do for them. On that very day I can see myself sitting down quietly at my desk working, while the colleagues, will be opening packages received and planning sweaty, romantic nights and weekends. We all know the drill. 9 months from now there will be a plethora of babies and it will be another year gone by without my dreams of Lil’ Miss Sunshine coming to fruition. Continue reading Being a Gentleman

Single Nigerian Meets MissMeddle – Literally…

Single Nigerian Man exposed at last
My darlings who no longer love me – if ever at all you did… I have gist. Fresh, hot, beautiful gist.

After our initial meeting, I was finally granted permission to meet His Majesty!! Let me give you the breakdown of how it all went down.

So then, there we were staring at each other, trying to match real life to all the chats and texts and calls and pictures. Then came the awkward moment. My mental calculator was rapidly measuring whether or not to hug him, if I should give him a side hug filled with shoulder blade, or bless him with a full frontal. Our guy, meanwhile, was peaceably leaning in for a bear hug.

So we ended up having a weird semi-full frontal (does this make any sense?!!). So, that little bridge safely crossed, we proceeded to sit down and argue over possession of the tv remote. That over and done with (I won, yay me!), we stared alternately at the tv and at each other.

OK, I must confess that this was when I began prattling on a bit. Yes, I yammered on about the inconsequential for a few minutes. Sigh. I was nervous. Personally, I’m much more comfortable with our virtual friendship and vague promises of meeting at undefned points in the future. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to be in the same room with him…

So we crawled along conversationally, with a few scattered laughs for extra flavour. At some point, your man made a comment about how I didn’t even seem happy to see him. Quite calmly, I explained to the individual that I could only be happy to see him if we’d had a prior meeting. As it was, he was lucky I opened the door, gave him the bony hug and let his feet cross the entryway.

All in all, though, it wasn’t a bad meet. I have finally met the invisible man. Congrats to me.

P.S.

Dear Majesty, to protect your reps, I will not tell them about that weird comment you made. You know the one.

P.P.S.

He also asked if I had any blogging gist for him. Little did he know that I would come up with this. Aren’t I evil?

Love,

Joy.

🙂