Writing this post makes me remember A “Forest of Flowers” by Ken Saro Wiwa (God rest his soul), funny book that cracked me up silly. I remember two wise old sayings, “a bird in hand is worth two in the bush” and “don’t put all your eggs in one basket“. If you ask me today those are two quite conflicting statements if applied to chasing and toasting babes. Two conflicting statements that guys tend to apply to the same situations. Hmmm… Before I confuse myself and start speaking Mandarin, let me take it down some levels..
Lets take a typical guy, call him Specimen A (no link to the music group), he meets a nice looking girl, gets to toasting and actually likes her. Now all through the toasting Specimen A applies the first wise saying (1ws) toasts the bird in hand and leaves all the birds in the bush to catch the one so near at hand. However the minute Specimen A gets his precious birdie he applies 2ws, he puts his precious birdie in his basket and proceeds to chase all the birds in the bush. Now if that was the end of the story it would be good. However, dear Specimen A has a series of baskets lined up and he has decided that he must have a bird/egg in each and every one of them. Catch my drift?
I have tried to wrap my mind around this for a while now, I mean I have only space for one bird in my heart (God bless her soul) and while that bird remains there, I have no intention of doing bush waka. I mean its probably just me but then chasing a bird is actually stress. Talkless of 2 or 3 in the bush (shuo) that one pass government work because na still you go pay for the chase. Now for the men spreading their eggs around, chasing all the birds in the bush and getting away with it, I will say well done una try. As for me I refuse to either put all my eggs in one basket or spread them around in different baskets. If I catch any egg, na to boil am chop, Finish!!! No negotiation, no pricing. Why cry over a broken egg you could have fried and eaten?
As for birds… Hmmm. That is a story for another day.
Single Nigerian Man