Johnny Bravo
How you doin’?


I have always been known to speak very seriously about absolutely unserious issues. This, sadly, is one of such instances. Try not to fall asleep halfway through the first few lines sha.

I recently came up with a mini-theory concerning the rituals involved in selecting a prospective mate and making your intentions known or letting the other person know that advances are welcome. I call it… wait for it! Blinking.

Oh. Right.

That’s already the title.

On a totally unrelated note, why does this girl wear a wristband with her name on it??? Does she sometimes forget what she’s called and look to her wrist for expo? Or is it in case she gets lost? Hmmm…

Anyway, I call it blinking. We all know that green means go and orange means get ready, abi? Ok, what of a get-ready-even-thoughI’m-trying-to-be-ladylike/gentlemanly type of situation? My dears, it follows that in that kind of situation, the orange light is not properly switched on, but blinks on and off at intervals under the guise of friendliness, courtesy and common interest.

Hmm. Big grammar. Lemme explain a bit. Blinking may sometimes take these forms;

Looking intently and with intent:

This is the most commonly/frequently used ploy. It could be initiated by either party and is usually done for quite a while until a positive response (e.g. coy smiling) is elicited.

Eye/Sign Language:

This follows repeated intent “lookage”. At this point, they are both comfortable with the looks and smiles and want to push things up a notch. So they inject winking, suggestive glances, raised eyebrows, blowing kisses and mouthing messages to each other into their little routine.

Small Talk:

Yes, when he/she schleps 50km across the room to ask you the time (even though there are three wall clocks in perfect working order prominently displayed around), stop and ponder, dear child.

Hmm, let’s stop there since there’s no real script beyond that point; the storyline of life remains constant, only the details and personal choices differ.

Whatever happens beyond small talk is dependent on a lot of factors like their geographic proximity, what each of them is really after and whether their egos can stand compromise. It could also boil down to a gross lack of chemistry or the astute, unforgivable daftness of one of the two.

Over the past few weeks, I have sat quietly, observing all the above (and much more, some kinda disgusting), smiling knowingly to myself the whole time.

Yes, I am very wise, children. Hopefully my wisdomosity transcends the deeply unserious and thoroughly unusable… We’ll see 🙂


Happy Holidays! My heart bleeds for the unspeakable acts of violence plaguing my country at this time. May the souls of all the good people lost rest in peace. Amen.


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