Yes I wrote this with two movies in mind, How to lose a Guy in 10days and How to Lose Friends and Alienate people. You see, they were good movies, made some money, caused some laughs and all. However I do not believe most of that stuff works with us African people. I do believe all that stuff is for white people (no offence to anyone). I have done worse things to my friends and to Jane Doe and most of them still love me. I do believe that Nigerians in general are very tolerant people. However I have discovered some definite no-no’s that a typical Naija babe will flinch and the diehard ones take off. Here they are in no particular order if you really need to shake her off, give them a go
- Tell her you want to sleep with her. If she looks at you wondering what on earth is wrong with you, offer to pay her. If she has the guts to consider that, my guy, tell her that you want it really kinky, if she still offers to do that, use the toilet window.
- If you schedule a date with her, don’t show up. If she calls tell her you forgot because you were playing games ALONE! (the alone word is very important. She will form understanding if you got carried away while you were with your friends)
- She sends you on an errand to deliver a letter to that her aunt who she thinks is all and all (the aunt probably is). Please, spill some ogbono soup on the letter. Three drops should do the trick.
- Ask all her friends out, don’t wait for them to tell her, tell her by yourself.
- Sleep with her sister, then seriously hit on her cousins.
- The first time you meet her folks, say wassup to her father, then tell him to “chop knuckle”
- You have an appointment with her mother, don’t show up. And don’t bother to call to explain why. Repeat over and over again, but get her to schedule those times.
- Make her understand you have no plans of marrying at all.
- Tell her you are a drug dealer, yahoo yahoo guy… You get the drift
- Tell everyone you have slept with her…
- To be continued… (I have to work)
Single Nigerian Man
Disclaimer: Try any of the above at your own risk some babes know Cynthia Rothrock
Please, still looking for a female blogger I can assist here. If you know anyone, Holla